Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#films #computer #games #violence #people #effect #society

In the recent era, whilst proponents think that

violence related

Add a hyphen

violence-related

show examples

films

and computer

games

should be banned as it has a bad effect on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, proponents say there is nothing like that.

Acually

Correct your spelling

Actually

, they think that It helps

people

to refresh their minds after the hectic schedule of the day.

However

, I am of the belief that vulgar content should be definitely censored in order to make a better community to live in. On the one hand,

films

and

games

are the source of entertainment for most individuals,

this

has greatly affected the lifestyle of

people

For instance

, whenever

people

get free time they just glue themselves in front of the television to watch movies or on the phone to play

games

for their enjoyment.

Thus

, what can be said is that

films

and computer

games

have an extremely positive physiological effect on individuals

Replace the punctuation

...

show examples

On the other hand

People

are addicted nowadays towards playing

games

on mobile phones or computers.

For instance

, the PUBG game was in trend in the past few days.

This

was a challenge-based game and

people

love to play it, most importantly, children.

Hence

, one of the challenges in the game

also

forced the

people

to die.

Therefore

, movies and electronic

games

which are showcasing violence must be banned In conclusion, after

this

essay has manifested the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that violent

films

and

games

should be banned as it causes harm to society very badly. For entertainment

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

purpose

Add a comma

,purpose

show examples

people

have other things to do like outdoor activities.

Submitted by musab.private92 on Sun Dec 25 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

6.50

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Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

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Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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