You recently had your computer fixed at a local computer store, however, you are not pleased with the service you received. Write a letter to the store manager. In the letter:  describe the situation  explain why you are dissatisfied  say what you want the manager to do Write at least 150 words.

#computer #store #service #manager #situation

Dear Sir or Madam, I took my PC to your store 4

days

ago on Tuesday and had it fixed for a charge of $20.

However

, I am writing to express my strong dissatisfaction with the service I received from a particular technician. First of all, I have been having some computer problems like slow startup and internet connection interruptions for the

last

few

days

. When I took my personal computer to your store the technician, who named himself Russel, promised to fix it in a couple of

days

Furthermore

, he added there is no need to worry about all the data in it. After 2

days

, Russel called to warn me about the delay with repair work and I waited for a week to get my computer back. To my shock, when I

finally

got my laptop I realized that it had no changes in its working.

Moreover

, all my personal data and files from my workplace were gone. I was terribly disappointed because I had wasted money, and time and

this

case put me in a difficult situation with my job duties. My intention in writing

this

letter is to demand that you restore my removed data and fix it properly at no extra charge as I have already paid for it. I look forward to your reply and a resolution to my problem. Yours faithfully, Ron Taylor.

Submitted by saint_4ever on Tue Mar 19 2024

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task achievement

You did well in detailing the situation, explaining your dissatisfaction, and stating what you want the manager to do. This shows a clear understanding of the task requirements.

task achievement

For further improvement, consider elaborating more on the consequences of the unsatisfactory service, such as the specific impact on your job duties. This could enhance the completeness of your response.

coherence cohesion

Your letter has a logical flow, which is commendable. Each paragraph focuses on a single idea, contributing to the coherence and cohesion of your writing.

coherence cohesion

To elevate your letter, try using a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices. This will improve the connectivity between ideas and paragraphs.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

230 words

8.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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