IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

companies should provide sports and social facilities in local. to what extent do you agree

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In
this
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 day and age ,
sports
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 and social gatherings play a very vital role in our life, they
strengthens
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strengthen
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 the bond between local communities.
therefore
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 companies should provide these amenities,In my ,opinion companies should provide facilities to improve provincial.
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However
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,However
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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also
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 believe that government should
also
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 need to do
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 share of the work to provide apparatus. To commence with recreational facilities are necessary for
individual
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an individual
the individual
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, as it improves one's
health
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 and
also
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 it is a way for them to catch up with
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 friends and family. if corporations offer them to local communities,
then
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 it will show
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how much value they give to their people and
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
health
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,which in turn will result in better productivity and motivation from workers.it
also
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 provides
local
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a local
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 community to enjoy
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 local
sports
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 and enjoy the day with
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 neighbours as well as an opportunity to learn,
For example
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,nowadays organizations organize various
sports
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events
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 and other
events
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 for
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 employees and
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
 families where everyone enjoys as well as interact with each other,
Hence
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sports
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 ascertain physical
health
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 ,motivation and better communication with friends and families,which in turn
also
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boot
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boost
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 mental
health
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.
Additionally
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,social gatherings will
also
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 promote
healthy
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a healthy
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 culture within the
accociation
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association
.
this
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 facility offered by management can help the society to maintain
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thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
 traditional values and culture.which in turn will give fame to the system.
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Furthermore
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,Furthermore
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 it will maintain the culture between generations and allow
current
Correct article usage
the current
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 generation to pass on the legacy.
However
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,the sole responsibility for providing
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this establishments
Change the determiner
this establishment
these establishments
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 should not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rest on the companies. The government
also
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 need to play
Use synonyms
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 role in providing these facilities to locals To conclude,the game
events
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 and social
events
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 are highly pivotal for the company.the corporation and government should support
such
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events
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 within the region as it will not only promote a healthy environment within the workplace for employees,
thus
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 promoting the organization. but
also
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 helps to develop the local community.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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