IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is common that in many companies people from different ages work together in a same team. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantges?

#companies #people #ages #work #team #disadvantges
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, in a great number of companies, young people work in the same workplace as older ones. I strongly opine that
this
Linking Words
 trend is advantageous,
while
Linking Words
 there may be some difficulties. On the one hand, having a mixture of generations in organizations has two main advantages. First of all, because older employees have more experience, younger ones can benefit from the recommendations of older ones. To illustrate, youth in the workplace are often novices or apprentices. If
youngers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
show examples
 get help from elders, they will presumably gain job improvement, helping to raise their wages
as well as
Linking Words
 raising the company output. Equally importantly, young staff are more active than elders. To explain,
although
Linking Words
 the aged staff have good leadership skills, they are not enough energetic. with ageing, people will
get
Verb problem
become
show examples
 less patient and usually suffer from Joint and bone problems.
Thus
Linking Words
, if an industry wants to reach deadlines, ought to hire young personnel because they can do tasks quickly and creatively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in spite of the advantages mentioned, when two generations work with each other, there is usually one principal difficulty. Sometimes, there is a conflict between the young and the old at firms because of different attitudes. To explain, seniors are willing to follow conservative methods, in stark contrast, juniors tend to utilize modern techniques.
Hence
Linking Words
, there might be some disagreements.
For instance
Linking Words
, a milk company in Iran was closed for 6 months in 2013
due to
Linking Words
 a strong disagreement between its young and old officials.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 challenge can be solved by considering a career position as a consultant in the administrative system to help personnel avoid negotiations.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I claim that having a mixture of various ages in workplaces is beneficial because of the elders‘ mentoring and youth capabilities.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the struggle in companies is the remained problem which should be addressed by hiring a consultant in the office.
Submitted by samaneh.k76 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Well done on providing a clear response to the essay prompt. Your arguments are relevant and well-supported with examples. Make sure to address both the advantages and disadvantages in more detail.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good overall structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve coherence, ensure smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs for better flow.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion
task response
Relevant examples to support points

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Innovation
  • Mentorship
  • Professional growth
  • Institutional knowledge
  • Work environment
  • Energy
  • Willingness to take risks
  • Work dynamics
  • Age-related stereotypes
  • Resistance to change
  • Technological advancements
  • Productivity
  • Efficiency
  • Work-life balance
  • Career progression
  • Job security
  • Stable routine
What to do next:
Look at other essays: