Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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In
this
developed world, medicine sectors
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
grown tremendously, and
due to
this
a lot of
vaccines
have been introduced in the market to protect
children
from fatal
diseases
. Simultaneously, laws should be required to persuade
parents
to inject
vaccines
into their
children
.
Initially
, in
this
present
situation
Add a comma
situation,
show examples
a lot of unknown
diseases
are suffering people, especially
children
.
Hence
, to avoid and save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
from pathogens,
vaccines
are the better option to save their lives.
Moreover
, most
parents
who are staying in rural areas, won’t be aware of
this
, because they are scared to put
vaccines
on them
as well as
their
children
.
This
trend has soared daily,
thus
to avoid
this
governments and authorities who are working in the medical field should implement a special law to close
this
issue.
Additionally
, the government should be responsible for creating
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
awareness about
vaccines
and their benefits in front of the public.
Furthermore
,
vaccines
are one of the inevitable medicines at the current ambience.
Hence
, some stringent rules must be required to insist
parents
, who are not educated.
In other words
, most of the common
diseases
like typhoid, malaria and polio will be eradicated by vaccination only. To illustrate, in my home country, the government has passed a law for
vaccines
, that says if any
parents
refuse to inject
vaccines
on their
children
their family citizenship will be cancelled and they won't get any privileges from the government.
To conclude
, at the moment vaccine is the only way to protect
children
from dangerous
diseases
.
Hence
,
parents
or any individual has no right to refuse it.
Additionally
, all
vaccines
are approved by the authorized medical association. So, no one to worry about the side effects.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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task achievement
To improve your essay, ensure all your main points are fully supported with specific examples and evidence. For example, mention specific campaigns or studies to back up claims about vaccine awareness.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating clearer transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. Utilize transition words such as 'However,' 'Additionally,' and 'Consequently,' to make the progression of ideas smoother.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear stance on the issue of immunization laws and thoroughly explains the rationale behind it.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces the importance of vaccinations for children.
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