Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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this

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developed world, medicine sectors

are

Verb problem

have

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grown tremendously, and

due to

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this

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a lot of

vaccines

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have been introduced in the market to protect

children

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from fatal

diseases

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. Simultaneously, laws should be required to persuade

parents

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to inject

vaccines

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into their

children

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Initially

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, in

this

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present

situation

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situation,

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a lot of unknown

diseases

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are suffering people, especially

children

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Hence

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, to avoid and save

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

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from pathogens,

vaccines

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are the better option to save their lives.

Moreover

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, most

parents

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who are staying in rural areas, won’t be aware of

this

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, because they are scared to put

vaccines

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on them

as well as

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their

children

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This

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trend has soared daily,

thus

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to avoid

this

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governments and authorities who are working in the medical field should implement a special law to close

this

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issue.

Additionally

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, the government should be responsible for creating

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apply

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awareness about

vaccines

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and their benefits in front of the public.

Furthermore

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vaccines

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are one of the inevitable medicines at the current ambience.

Hence

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, some stringent rules must be required to insist

parents

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, who are not educated.

In other words

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, most of the common

diseases

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like typhoid, malaria and polio will be eradicated by vaccination only. To illustrate, in my home country, the government has passed a law for

vaccines

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, that says if any

parents

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refuse to inject

vaccines

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on their

children

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their family citizenship will be cancelled and they won't get any privileges from the government.

To conclude

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, at the moment vaccine is the only way to protect

children

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from dangerous

diseases

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Hence

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parents

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or any individual has no right to refuse it.

Additionally

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, all

vaccines

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are approved by the authorized medical association. So, no one to worry about the side effects.

smsundaram57Thu Jun 27 2024

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task achievement

To improve your essay, ensure all your main points are fully supported with specific examples and evidence. For example, mention specific campaigns or studies to back up claims about vaccine awareness.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating clearer transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. Utilize transition words such as 'However,' 'Additionally,' and 'Consequently,' to make the progression of ideas smoother.

task achievement

Your essay provides a clear stance on the issue of immunization laws and thoroughly explains the rationale behind it.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces the importance of vaccinations for children.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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