IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast food. This has a negative impact on families, individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #foods #food #impact #families #individuals #society
The world has extremely changed ,10 years ago people used to cook at home.
However
, nowadays most traditional foods are replaced by junk
food
. Unfortunately, it has negative effects and communities individuals and families. I strongly agree with
this
 statement. In
this
 essay, I will explain the drawbacks of junk
food
 and the benefits of local cooking.
To begin
 with, fast
food
 is considered unhealthy and has many disadvantages.
First,
it causes physical problems
such
 as obesity. Studies have shown that the increasing rate of overweight especially among adults in countries that depend on restaurants.
Second,
it can lead to many diseases, one of the most popular diseases among teenagers and children is diabetes. Scientists found out that the percentage of diabetes increased dramatically in recent years because of fast foods.
On the other hand
, local
food
 has many advantages as it strengthens the relationships between couples and families.
For example
, when the family spends time together to prepare ingredients , cook and share meals together, they will be happier and closer.
In addition
, traditional recipes can save the national heritage of each country as it relates to identity and culture.
For example
, ancient recipes in Saudi Arabia
such
 as Margog and Kabsa are made on different occasions. In conclusion, replacing traditional dishes with fast
food
 can cause physical problems and illnesses.
However
, local
food
 has many positive impacts
such
 as strengthening relationships and saving the cultural identity of each country.
Submitted by fatmahaleesa on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, consider providing a more detailed analysis of the connection between traditional foods, fast food, and their impacts. This will help to clarify and strengthen your argument even further.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try using varied linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between your essay's ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the main argument effectively.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of specific dishes like Margog and Kabsa.
coherence cohesion
The logical sequence of ideas allows readers to follow the argument easily.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Impact
  • Nutritious
  • Cultural heritage
  • Identity
  • Economic implications
  • Locally sourced
  • Social cohesion
  • Environmental degradation
  • Obesity
  • Heart diseases
  • Diabetes
  • Cultural transmission
  • Convenience
  • Traditional dishes
  • Biodiversity
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