IELTS Writing Correction Service /
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Band 7

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution
An increasing number of
people
 and institutions are using digital technology for
communication
. Even though
this
 has brought many benefits like communicating easily and being less costly,
this
also
 has some drawbacks
such
 as a lack of physical interactions. It is true to say that many
people
 can communicate easily because of digital technology. In the past few decades,
people
 need to
use
 snail mail as their primary
communication
 method and which was unreliable because it did not have proper encryption methods or solutions. While using some online
communication
 channels like Facebook or Twitter,
people
's messages are encrypted by advanced encryption methods.
In addition
, there is no extra cost to
use
 those channels and
that is
 the major advantage compared to the traditional
communication
 technique.
Although
 it would be difficult to
use
 for older
people
, many applications today are mostly user-friendly and easy to manage it. In the UK,
for example
, many older
people
 are learning how to
use
 the internet properly from their grandchildren.
However
, digital technology can limit physical interactions between human beings. During the COVID-19 period, a large number of
people
 are using digital platforms to continue their education, work, and family gathering.
As a result
, many
people
 prefer to stay at home rather than go to the physical offices, schools, and their relative's or parents' homes.
This
 can seriously impact their relationship and younger generations
also
 may think that they do not require to meet other
people
 in the future as well. To conclude, though digital
communication
 has its drawback,
this
 can bring many benefits to our society. In my opinion, I strongly believe that the advantages clearly outweigh its negative side.
Submitted by waiphyothu007 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive healthcare
  • environmental regulations
  • respiratory diseases
  • public health policies
  • sanitation facilities
  • urban planning
  • communicable diseases
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable development
  • government intervention
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • industrial emissions
  • air quality index
  • affordable housing
  • mental wellbeing
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