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Band 5.5

today is the best period of history. do you agree withe this? what other time would you like to live?

#period #history #withe #time
Nowadays, Olympic Games are regarded as an important cultural event. Every four years one city is chosen to hold
this
 competition and it is thought of as a great
honor
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honour
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.
However
, some people believe that the world would be better
of
Change preposition
off
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 without
this
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 there will be brought up advantages as well as the disadvantages of said competition. On the one hand, because of the Olympics,
less known
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less-known
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 countries have a chance to get rid of the stereotypes and,
therefore
, welcome more tourists, which is good for the economy in general.
For example
, after Russia had hosted
this
 world-renowned competition, in the
next
 few years there was a dramatic increase in the number of foreigners visiting Moscow compared to the ones before.
On the other hand
, countries with
weaker
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a weaker
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economy
Fix the agreement mistake
economies
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, if chosen to hold
such
 a popular event, will be forced to spend more money on preparations, rather than the needs of their citizens.
For instance
, Qatar has spent around 220 billion dollars on stadiums, transport and other facilities, which are important for the Olympic Games, while it is reported that 20% of the nation’s population
live
Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
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 in moderate poverty in the 21st century. In conclusion, it cannot be overlooked, that the Olympics are a cultural monument, a tradition that has grown through the years since
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Acient
Correct your spelling
Ancient
 Greece.
However
, I believe that adjustments should be made to stop the extravaganza behaviour of the government. In my opinion, the budget spent is aimed to get approval from the heads of other countries, rather than used to suffice the needs of the nation.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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