In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, private organizations are paying for and conducting more scientific studies
instead
of the government. I hold the view that
this
practice has more benefits than its drawbacks. One of the main negatives of
firms
'
research
is that it may be on a specific topic. They may have a limited spectrum on which they can work because they are operating in a particular field and only want to get results which are related to their core operations. Another disadvantage is that the revenues of companies may
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
affected. Comprehensive
research
sometimes requires a large amount of investment to carry out.
This
is because it includes the travelling expenses to collect responses, the cost of making prototypes and even the need to pay responders as well to get their genuine feedback. In spite of having some disadvantages, there are more advantages to
this
development. First and foremost, private
research
creates employment opportunities because these
firms
need human resources who can help these
firms
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work for them.
Therefore
, they are hired or paid by employers, resulting in creating job vacancies.
Furthermore
, restricting an investigation to a small scale can produce more authentic results.
For example
,
research
on consumer behaviour was conducted by one of the telecommunication companies, Zong, in 2005, which was limited to only 50 participants
instead
of having a large group, and was able to produce more accurate outcomes as compared to the public study.
Moreover
,
this
development allows private organizations to improve their operations. In
order
Correct your spelling
other
show examples
words, if they are encouraged to investigate more and spend their own money, they
are
Verb problem
would
show examples
highly like to develop their purposes and how they can serve society more effectively by addressing their existing issues. To illustrate, one of the giant companies, Unilever, has not only improved its operational efficiency but
also
its reputation by conducting more scientific
research
in different fields. In conclusion, private
firms
are investing and exploring more scientific topics as compared to the government. I think the benefits of
this
development outweigh its drawbacks.
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coherence cohesion
Both introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be improved. The introduction should clearly outline the key points that will be discussed, while the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main arguments without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points, provide detailed examples and explanations. This strengthens the argument and demonstrates an understanding of the topic. Try to elaborate more on your examples and connect them directly to the point being made.
task achievement
Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. The essay should reflect a thorough understanding of the topic with a clear stance throughout. Additionally, both the advantages and disadvantages should be discussed with equal weight unless explicitly stating that one outweighs the other.
task achievement
Ideas should be clear and comprehensive, covering a range of relevant issues pertaining to the topic. Ensure that individual points are clearly articulated and that the essay reads smoothly from one point to the next.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points. This has been done relatively well but could be further improved with additional specifics or data where appropriate. Aim to reinforce the argument with compelling and pertinent information.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • groundbreaking technologies
  • efficiently allocate resources
  • innovative projects
  • strict timelines
  • profit motives
  • basic research
  • commercial application
  • corporate funding
  • biases in research
  • unbiased exploration
  • balanced exploration
  • public sector
  • private sector
  • synergy
  • comprehensive outcomes
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