In the modern era, technology has become an essential part of everyday life. However, while it is often argued that technology such as the Internet and cellphone has beneficial effects on our relationship, it also has a number of drawbacks in human interaction. This essay will analyze the positive aspects and drawbacks of this issue.
these days
technology
Add a missing verb
is considerd
considerd
as one of the most important things in our life. and the way Correct your spelling
considered
of
how Change preposition
apply
people
communicate has changed. So, some people
think that technology
has a lot of benefits, while others believe that technology
has a bad effect on human’s
relationships. Change noun form
human
This
essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion.
On one hand, we have people
who think that we should not use phones or laptops to contact. For example
, when you want to meet a friend usually you go to a cafe but now a video call is enough. It is not good for our mental health. So, that's why this
way of living is not something that our families are used to and they were not raised to dealing
with it. ,Wrong verb form
deal
Also
children are spending most of the day playing different
Change the article
a different
kind
of online games; it has a side effect on their body
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
On the other hand
, people
who support the idea that technology
is useful are more than those who do not. It is clear from what we can see that people
are allowed to do anything on the internet. such
as, studying, selling, and working. Also
to reach people
who live in remote places. For an ,
Remove the comma
apply
inctance
I have a friend who Correct your spelling
instance
life
in New York yet Replace the word
lives
i
can talk to her every day because of the Change the capitalization
I
technology
in conclusion, after a careful analysis of both point
,Fix the agreement mistake
points
Change preposition
of views
views
I believe thatFix the agreement mistake
view
,
one of the greatest things that human beings have made is the internet and the mobile phone.Remove the comma
apply
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite