Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion. (Discuss both views).
Nowadays, some people believe that children should learn a broad range of
subjects
to acquire a more diverse knowledge base. While
a school of thought insists that concentrating on a few subjects
in depth. Both approaches have their right, however
, I lean forward to the latter idea.
On the one hand, learning a wide range of subjects
allows students
to adapt and be more versatile to the rapid change in the labor
Change the spelling
labour
market
. When students
are exposed to multiple fields, they will be able to apply their insights and knowledge to solve problems. For instance
, opening a coffee shop these days becomes challenging, requiring the owner to understand the market
tendency, promote products, and manage human resources. These requirements can not be gained from a particular field, the owners are expected to have a broad knowledge in various fields.
On the other hand
, there are some advantages to focusing on a small variety of subjects
. Firstly
, studying selected subjects
encourages students
to study with their interests and recognize their potential. In other words
, students
, who are into science-related subjects
can intensively examine the problems related to that field. This
approach will train the promising generations to develop society and the job market
. Moreover
, allowing students
to study a small number of subjects
helps students
to have more time for outdoor activities. For example
, schools and education initiatives can operate outdoor activities to help students
relieve stress and improve their physical health.
In conclusion, studying a broad variety of subjects
may help students
for their future path, however
, focusing on a small number of subjects
would be far more create a better generation. I believe that the change in teaching methods not only benefits the labor market
but also
society as a whole.Submitted by nguyenhung1705mmt on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Consider revising the opening sentence to be clearer: 'Nowadays, some people believe that children should learn a broad range of subjects to acquire a more diverse knowledge base, while others suggest focusing on fewer subjects to explore in depth.'
task achievement
Your position effectively emphasizes the benefits of focusing on fewer subjects, but ensure that both perspectives are equally balanced in terms of explanation depth.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas using linking phrases to enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion formally ties back to the introduction, effectively summarizing your stance.
task achievement
Good use of examples, like the coffee shop example, to illustrate broader points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured with clear paragraphs that separate distinct ideas well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.