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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

#internet #books #air #tickets #groceries
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Shopping on the internet, encompassing products like books, air tickets, and groceries, is becoming increasingly common.
While
 there are some drawbacks,
such
 as the lack of physical interaction and potential fraud, I believe the main benefits, including convenience and a broader selection of products, are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential disadvantage of online shopping may be the risk of fraud and scams. Since users often need to provide personal and financial information, there is always a possibility of data breaches or fraudulent transactions, which can cause financial loss and personal stress. Another perceived negative is the lack of physical interaction and personal experience. For items like clothing or groceries, customers cannot see or touch the product in person, which may lead to dissatisfaction if the item does not meet expectations or differs from the description.
On the other hand
, a primary advantage of shopping online is that it offers significant convenience and time-saving benefits. People can purchase items from the comfort of their homes at any time, making it especially useful for those with busy schedules or limited mobility. A
further
 benefit is the wide selection of products and competitive pricing available on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. Online marketplaces often allow customers to compare prices across different sellers easily, which not only ensures better deals but
also
 provides access to items that may be unavailable locally. On balance, it is true that online shopping would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances, particularly regarding the risks of fraud and the lack of in-person interaction.
However
, in my view, its positive effects in terms of convenience and product variety override the disadvantages, making it a preferable choice for many consumers today.
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task achievement
Include specific examples or data to support each of your points, which could strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structure to maintain the reader’s interest and enhance the flow of your writing.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The structure is logical and the main points are well-supported within the essay which enhances readability and coherence.
task achievement
The response covers both the advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-saving
  • wide selection
  • competitive prices
  • discounts
  • accessibility
  • global marketplace
  • availability
  • fraud
  • scams
  • lack of
  • physical interaction
  • personal experience
  • impersonal
  • customer service
  • delays
  • delivery
  • return process
What to do next:
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