IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people thinks that governments should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree.

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There have been arguments about unhealthy
food
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. Some
people
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 think the government should change the whole pricing policy by increasing taxes on unhealthy
food
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 in order to motivate
people
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 to start eating healthy and
diet
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food
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instead
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, in fact, I completely agree with
this
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 statement. In
this
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 essay, I will illustrate my point of view, supporting it with examples as well.
First
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 of all, we should all be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 our
food
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 choices, whatever you are planning to eat will have
major
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a major
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 impact on your body system and health so
that is
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 why it is important to pick the
food
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 that
contain
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contains
show examples
 vitamins, protein and calcium,
such
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 as fruits and dairy. Constantly eating
junk
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food
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 and sodas will lead to chronic diseases like Diabetes and Cholesterol disease. The government increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
junk
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food
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 prices seems to be the ideal way to solve
this
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 problem, since
the
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apply
show examples
people
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 are not considering quitting
junk
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food
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.
Nevertheless
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, what makes it harder for
people
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 to remain with their
diet
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 plan is that healthy
food
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 costs much more than
junk
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food
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 and they have easy access to it,
thus
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,
diet
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food
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 is extremely expensive. If the government starts to change their pricing system by increasing
junk
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food
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 costs or reducing
diet
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 and healthy
food
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 prices it will hopefully encourage
people
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 to take care of their health by picking the right
food
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 choices.
Hence
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, in conclusion, we are all responsible for our health and we should be mature by trying as hard as we can in order to take care of it.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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