Nowadays, even though imprisonment is an efficient solution for preventing crime, education proved to be a more efficient one. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that nowadays

education

proved to be a more efficient solution for preventing

crime

than

imprisonment

. I strongly agree with the latter stance, and in the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss points and reasons to support my view.

First

education

is having a big impact on humankind and can shape someone's personality. If someone has already learned about good personality and morals since they were a kid, it can affect their mindset and life in the future.

For example

, most kids who grew up in a criminal area and are familiar with a

crime

in their childhood, tend to be a criminal too in their adult life.

This

is the reason why we should give a good example for the kids and fulfil the with a good

education

. In comparison,

imprisonment

is one of the best solutions to fight

crime

and

this

method is quite impactful.

However

, we could hear that criminal life in prison is really bad and sometimes violate human rights.

This

can lead to

Correct article usage

the

show examples

condition their personality

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

getting worse and they can do the bigger

crime

after being free from prison.

Moreover

, in

Indonesia

Add a comma

,Indonesia

show examples

a lot of ex-prisoner do the same case as they did beforehand. That's why

imprisonment

is not the most efficient solution for preventing

crime

. In essence, it is true that

imprisonment

is one of the best solutions to fight

crime

. But,

education

is the most effective way to prevent

crime

, and I strongly recommend that every school should teach moral

education

to help children and young people to acquire a set of beliefs and values regarding what is right and wrong.

Submitted by rifqiadityariadhi on Thu Dec 29 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays it is found that children are fond of using smartphones and even spend their time every day on them. In my point of view, spending too much time on smartphones has some drawbacks for children as they could be influenced by bad things happening on the internet. Other than that, at a young age, children should explore their interests and hobbies rather than spend time looking at smartphones. In that case, I am convinced that many children using their smartphones for hours is a negative development. This essay will elaborate on the reason as follows.
8
band
You are coming home late night and detained by police Department for a routine check(patrol). The officer on duty behaved with you rudely. Escalte the complaint to police Commissioner about this incident. In your letter Introduce yourself describe what happened say what you want police Commissinoer to do for you.
I am writing this letter to complain about an on-duty officer. My name is Neha Singh and I live at Queenston Drive, Mississauga.
4.5
band
People nowadays are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Advertising affects what people think is important and it has a negative influence on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With the improving of technology in the world, websites, devices have a giant impact on peoples. Even advertising has soread from just papers or thoughr people into online advertising. And it is said to have a negative influence on people's lives which i completely agree with.
7
band
Some people think history has little or nothing to offer, while others say the study of the past helps us understand the present. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.
Nowadays, people have different views about whether studying history can assist them in understanding the present times or the history of the past does not make any sense. Personally, although communities have the right to learn historical information or not, I completely believe that by knowing their past society can gain some benefits.
7
band
You are currently trying to improve your knowledge of a language which is not your first language. You have a friend who speaks this language fluently. You have decided to write to this friend Write a letter to your friend.In your letter, Explain why you want to improve your knowledge of this language ask him/her for suggestions on how to learn more quickly. propose that you meet your friend to talk about it. Write at least 150 words.
I hope you are in sound health and doing well. I am writing this letter to inform you that I am seeking help from you to enhance my language skills in English, which is not my first language.

Nowadays, even though imprisonment is an efficient solution for preventing crime, education proved to be a more efficient one. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

People nowadays are surrounded by all kinds of advertising. Advertising affects what people think is important and it has a negative influence on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think history has little or nothing to offer, while others say the study of the past helps us understand the present. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.