Some people believe it’s better for children to have stay-at-home mothers while others believe it’s better for mothers to work. Which do you think is better for a child, a working or a stay-at-home mother? Use ideas and information from the article to support your ideas.

#people #it’s #children #mothers #work #child #mother #information #article #support

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Many

women

Use synonyms

have a great tendency to be hired by offices in order to earn money.

While

Linking Words

it is stated by some people that children need their mothers, so,

women

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who have kids should stay at

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

home, others say working can benefit mothers. I partially agree with the first statement to some extent. Nowadays, the number of

women

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employees has increased and a considerable proportion of them have kids.

This

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trend can affect their family negatively. Because,

firstly

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, borning a human requires responsibility and couples should think about it before having a baby. parent's responsibilities have different aspects. One of them is taking after their infants and preparing food for them.

Although

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wives should not be always responsible for raising kids, almost all men cannot take care of babies

as well as

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females.

Secondly

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, children could be depressed when their mother is not around, because they are usually obsessed emotionally with their mom.

For example

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according to

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statistics, adults who have

grown

Verb problem

been raised

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by a babysitter

showed

Wrong verb form

show

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a high chance of getting mental illnesses.

On the contrary

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, in today's world, it is not enough that just husbands work

due to

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the high prices of basic needs. So, if mothers

besides

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devoting time to their infants have a part-time job, it could be beneficial for family incomes.

In addition

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women

Use synonyms

have dreams as much as men. If they do not follow their wishes, they will be disappointed in the future, which could bring problems to their relationships.

For instance

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, my mother wanted to be a designer when she was younger, but after I was born, she put away her dream to raise me. Unfortunately, now, she regretted not pursuing her dream job.

To sum up

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, babies are dependent persons who need their mother's attention physically and emotionally.

thus

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it is recommended that they do not work for a

while

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However

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, it is important for them that they will not be regretted about today's decisions.

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lexical resource

Provide more diverse examples and use a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate a richer vocabulary.

grammatical range accuracy

Use a wider range of sentence structures and a variety of grammatical forms to enhance clarity and versatility in the essay.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Some people believe it’s better for children to have stay-at-home mothers while others believe it’s better for mothers to work. Which do you think is better for a child, a working or a stay-at-home mother? Use ideas and information from the article to support your ideas.

The charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or further education in 1980, 1990, and 2000.

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Some people believe that communication skill is important in convincing people while others have a different point of view. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Some say that advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.