IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think robots can improve human life in future; while others think robots may affect society in a bad way. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

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Robots
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 have been hailed as one of the most fascinating scientific inventions in the history of mankind. These days, we can see
robots
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 doing almost everything a human can and the future seems to belong to them.
However
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, as each invention comes with its positive and negative implications I would like to ponder upon both before giving my verdict on the same.
First,
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if I consider the benefits we can get out of
robots
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, I must say that they have been indeed a blessing for millions. These days,
robots
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 can
work
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 in conditions where humans find difficulty in giving their best.
For
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instance
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instance,
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 from manufacturing to surgery, there are numerous
work
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 conditions that demand consistency, accuracy and precision. It is proven that
robots
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 have outperformed humans in most of them.
Moreover
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,
robots
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 can certainly reduce manpower expenditure because they do not need allowances, perks, incentives and additional fringe benefits. All they need is proper maintenance and they can
work
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 incessantly.
On the other hand
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, letting
robots
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 take over all the
work
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 has its own drawbacks. One of them is technical troubles that we may face. It is obvious that
robots
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 are machines and any malfunction can cause unimaginable damage and in medical procedures, a fraction of error can be fatal.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
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 important disadvantage is
creation
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the creation
a creation
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 of unemployment. If
robots
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 take over all the jobs, skilled
labours
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labourers
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 will be jobless and that may have hazardous social implications.
Finally
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, I think
robots
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 are indeed useful in certain conditions.
However
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, they can be dangerous if they underperform. I believe that
robots
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 are and will be needed by humans and they can be fruitful to us provided they are maintained properly.

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conclusion
Although you provided a good introduction, consider summarizing the key points in your conclusion more clearly to strengthen your overall argument.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph directly relates back to the main argument. Some points could be more explicitly connected to either the benefits or drawbacks of robots.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative implications of robots, which fulfills the requirement of the task well.
task achievement
You provide specific examples, such as robots in manufacturing and surgery, which help to illustrate your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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