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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many parts of the world, children are given more freedom than in the past. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#parts #world #children #freedom #development
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Independence
to
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
Use synonyms
 has its own pros and cons.
This
Linking Words
 has
major
Correct article usage
a major
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 impact on the
pupil
Change noun form
pupil's
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life
Use synonyms
, either negative or positive way.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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, how
freedom
Use synonyms
 can influence their
life
Use synonyms
 and
utilized
Add a missing verb
be utilized
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 in
positive
Add an article
a positive
the positive
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 and negative
direction
Fix the agreement mistake
directions
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. I believe
this
Linking Words
 situation is largely positive. Everyone looks for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom
Use synonyms
 in their
life
Use synonyms
 to live their
life
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
to
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 the fullest. There are many advantages
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom
Use synonyms
 even at the
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
show examples
 stage. They start understanding new
experiencing
Replace the word
experiences
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 at
early
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an early
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age
Use synonyms
 and become mature. Due to
this
Linking Words
, they can get ready to fly with
colors
Change the spelling
colours
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 in their career. We have seen stories of successful
of
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apply
show examples
juveniles, who were given
freedom
Use synonyms
achieved
Correct word choice
and achieved
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 new heights. According to
survey
Correct article usage
a survey
show examples
 in
newspaper
Add an article
the newspaper
a newspaper
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 ‘Hindustan times’
on
Change preposition
of
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 1000
children
Use synonyms
, success rates are high, if
freedom
Use synonyms
 is given to 10-16 years
children
Use synonyms
 and they become more responsible and get ready for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 job, even though, they build
business
Add an article
a business
the business
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, because of their maturity and experiences at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 18-22 years.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 offload their parents, if they feel more
independence
Replace the word
independent
show examples
 and become more responsible and help
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
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 to handle household chores. On the other side, Elders in the family
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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 not feel respected and
losing
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
importance
Add an article
the importance
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 of their experience, because
information
Add an article
the information
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 is already available on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
. Due to
this
Linking Words
, elders are stressed and not able to guide their kids. Alternatively,
Children
Use synonyms
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 understand
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
right and wrong at
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 and there are chances
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
, which can lead towards the wrong path. I have seen some teenagers
got
Wrong verb form
get
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 spoiled due to more
freedom
Use synonyms
, which needs to be handled cautiously. In the nutshell, I believe, that, There are more benefits , as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they experience the
freedom
Use synonyms
 at starting
age
Use synonyms
, which allows them to experience
life
Use synonyms
 at
Add an article
an
show examples
early stage and create
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 impact on their
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by amarjitpalsingh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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