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Band 6.5

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives
There is a saying that life itself is a risk.
In every
Change preposition
Every
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 decision, choice or step
one
take
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takes
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 in life,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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always
involve
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involves
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 risk.
Therefore
, taking chances
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 become part of our daily survival, in order to achieve our goal and become successful. I believe that the merits of
risks
 surpass the demerits.
This
 essay will be discussing both views and my opinion. On
one
 hand, taking
risks
 can result
to
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in
show examples
 physical injury, accidents, bankruptcy and loss of
one
's life. In terms of career choice, investing in goods and shares which is part of
risk
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the risk
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, can heed good profit but can
also
 lead to severe loss in the company.
Furthermore
, individual
risks
 involving
sport
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sports
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 activities
such
 as car racing, hockey, bicycle racing, high jump etc can cause
fracture
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fractures
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 of the bones, amputation of
one
's limb and sometimes death but the rewarding part is what encourages people to partake in those activities despite the
risks
 involved.
Recent
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A recent
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 study showed that 40-60% of
athletics
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athletes
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 involved in
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 jump fractured
one
 or both limbs before becoming perfect in the activity.
On the other hand
, taking chances on
professional
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a professional
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 level
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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may involve employing a good worker that
one
 thinks
its
Correct your spelling
is
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 suitable for a job that can increase the
company
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company's
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 productivity. Specifically, the employee can bring new innovative ideas and ways to push the company forward. Meanwhile, on
personal
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a personal
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 level, taking
risks
 can motivate people in achieving what they never thought of achieving, by making them move from their comfort zone and
pursuing
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pursue
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 their dreams.
For
instance
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,instance
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 a man,
leave
Correct subject-verb agreement
leaves
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 his father's house in search of greener pastures for his future. In summary, there are many negative effects of taking chances but I believe that the positive impacts of it,make people want to explore more.
Submitted by enaughetheresa on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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