Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some people believe that the competition will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
encourage
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
children
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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other people consider that teamwork is more helpful.
This
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essay will discuss
this
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topic from both sides and give my own idea. The contest gives
children
Use synonyms
full of energy and satisfaction. They may feel that they are better than others and get encouraged to participate
Change preposition
in another
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another competitions
Replace the adjective
another competition
other competitions
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.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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it motivates
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
children
Use synonyms
to study more and more.
However
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the wish
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to
being
Change the form of the verb
be
show examples
more good than others is unlimited.
Therefore
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they stressed to be perfect and just think about they should be the best. Competition may create
lonely
Add an article
a lonely
the lonely
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, egotistical and stressed
Use synonyms
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
my cousin is
very
Correct article usage
a very
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hard working
Add a hyphen
hard-working
show examples
person
Use synonyms
and her parents
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
always saying that you should be
best
Correct article usage
the best
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to others.
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
she became
Add an article
an introvert
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introvert
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
and lonely
person
Use synonyms
.
Co-operate
Wrong verb form
Co-operating
show examples
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good qualification that
person
Use synonyms
must have.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
it
also
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needs for future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
and life.
Therefore
Linking Words
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
Use synonyms
is a vital skill that
children
Use synonyms
should be taught
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
primary school.
This
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helps
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
learn
Add the particle
tolearn
show examples
communicate and help each other in the
work
Use synonyms
field.
Finally
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, Competition gives us
desire
Change the article
the desire
show examples
to do more efficient
work
Use synonyms
and helps
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
learn anything by ourselves, co-operating can take chance to reach big success than
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
alone. Because it's a communication society
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
people need to support each other.
Submitted by Naran on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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