PERSONAL INFORMATION These days more people put their personal information, such as names, addresses and telephone numbers, online for everyday activities such as socialising on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
#information #people #names #addresses #telephone #numbers #activities #networks #purposes #development
Currently, it is commonplace for us to see that the public share their private details,
such
as names, addresses and other contact information
, on the internet
to support their social accounts and banking processes. I think that Capitalize word
Internet
this
is a positive improvement.
With regard to the usage of personal details on social media, most organizations require private information
to set up an account since this
is a regulation of both website companies and the government, in order to identify individual
. Once the public provides these particulars, with their social account, they can chat with others all over the world, scrolling through their posted videos and enjoying their experiences, Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
thus
breaking the regional boundary to make friends. Throughout this
social interaction, people might be exposed to different thoughts and behaviors
behaviours, Change the spelling
behaviours
thus
they will be aware that differences are norms, and as a result
, they will respect them in the future. In this
way, socializations
cultivates people’s empathy, which is a vital social skill for both their careers and lives.
Apart from socialization, using personal Fix the agreement mistake
socialization
information
to apply electronic payment services brings significant convenience to everyday life. If credit card information
is updated to applications, they
can be used automatically to make payments, saving a great amount of time. Correct pronoun usage
it
For example
, people can setup
weekly orders to purchase food online, using an app Correct your spelling
set up
that is
based on secure technology, which can deduct payment from a bank account without missing any payment date. Notably, it improves customers' shopping experiences and maintains consistency for online businesses. An additional benefit of sharing personal emails and numbers online is that personalized promotion messages can be posted on time, thereby allowing individuals to enjoy discounts, which not only keeps people updated but also
saves money.
In conclusion, for the reasons that I have given, sharing one's information
online benefits individuals’ lives since it provides opportunities to socialize globally and offers convenience. Therefore
, I believe this
tendency is a positive development with benefits for all concerned.Submitted by careyche on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Improvement
Even in an excellent essay, maintaining a variety of sentence structures and paying close attention to minor grammatical details could enrich the text further.
Enhancement
To elevate your writing, try integrating more complex vocabulary that is specific to the topic.
Structure
Your essay provided a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively outlined the main points and summarized your opinion, ensuring a strong understanding for the reader.
Organization
The coherence and cohesion of your essay were impressive. Your ideas were logically organized, and paragraphs were linked together smoothly, making your argument easy to follow.
Content
Your use of relevant examples and clear comprehensive ideas in support of your points significantly contributed to a complete response to the task. This helped in clearly demonstrating your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!