IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.).Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #technology #people #work #workplace #e #g #home #mobility
Technology
 has helped a lot of
people
 to do their
work
tasks
 outside their offices
such
 as at their homes or they can be in another country, so the technological benefits of mobility outweigh the disadvantages. After the spreading of the coronavirus in the world,
people
 started to rely on
technology
 more than ever. Some
businesses
 persisted and achieved their dreams through the improvement of
technology
, and that helped
businesses
 to continue their
work
, which had enabled many
employees
 to break the boundaries of the daily
work
 routine and proceeding their
work
 virtually, and that has increased the potential of the
work
 and achieving their
tasks
 much faster.
Subsequently
,
this
 change was more affordable for the
businesses
, because if they let the
employees
work
 from their homes,
then
 the company will no longer pay the electricity, water, and internet bills,
also
 they will no longer need any daily maintenance, and these things will decrease the costs for the company.
On the other hand
, other
businesses
 have tied to rely on
technology
 and let
people
 continue their to-do lists through their homes, but unfortunately, it negatively affected them.
This
 is because they have faced a lot of challenges
such
 as lack of time management and concentration, because of the activities that it is happening in their house, or the network speed. After all, sometimes
people
 can't afford for increasing the speed of the internet because they can’t afford it financially.
In addition
, when
businesses
 let
employees
 pressure their
work
 outside the workplace, some
employees
 will be reckless in doing certain criteria in the right way, either because the environment won’t help them or he feels lazy.
Furthermore
,
businesses
 are really scared of the large improvements in
technology
 because it will increase the cyberattacks and that will affect the
businesses
 and their profits will deescalate. In conclusion, some of the
businesses
 have improved either because it has increased the potential of the
work
 and achieving their
tasks
 much faster or it will be affordable for the company to proceed with the business. on the one hand, some
people
 have lost their
businesses
 because of the spreading of cyberattacks or because the
employees
 will not have the potential to
work
 in their houses because of the environment that they are in. In my perspective, I am with the
businesses
 to let their workers continue their jobs through their houses because it will make it flexible to achieve their
tasks
 and
also
 it will improve ordering their time in a precise way.
Submitted by reem.shhaiber on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: