IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that is a positive trend while other do not. What are your opinion in this

#food #countries #feel #trend
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It is irrefutable fact that at present
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast
food
Use synonyms
 is
commonly
Replace the word
common
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 in the majority of countries and is happening increasingly renowned. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that it is a positive trend
Change preposition
for us
show examples
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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but other
people
Use synonyms
 do not. I personally believe that the drawbacks of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast
food
Use synonyms
 far outweigh its benefits. My
first
Linking Words
 point is that fast
Use synonyms
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
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 some benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this food
these foods
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foods
Use synonyms
 can recipe easily and
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
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 for preparing. And
this
Linking Words
 thing
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 beneficial for cooks because they can
easy
Replace the word
easily
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 make
this
Linking Words
 kind of
food
Use synonyms
 and
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
 it
a
Change preposition
to a
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lot of
people
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 after
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon cooks may have enough financial
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
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 for
theirself
Correct your spelling
themselves
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.
In addition
Linking Words
 that fast
food
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is useful
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useful
Replace the word
use
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a
Change preposition
to a
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lot of workers.Cause workers do not have enough time for preparing
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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 mostly for dinner.
That is
Linking Words
 why
their
Replace the word
there
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 are always eat fast
food
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
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in order not late for work.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 has some
downside
Fix the agreement mistake
downsides
show examples
.Fast
foods
Use synonyms
 are
unhealthy
Add an article
the unhealthy
an unhealthy
show examples
 thing for us.And we can call it junk
food
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
 . Because they are to bring a lot of
disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
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.
For example
Linking Words
 obesity
heart
Correct word choice
and heart
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 disease.
Today's
Change noun form
Today
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 most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 suffer from obesity actually young
people
Use synonyms
. Because they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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go to school and they always eat junk
food
Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
in their
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 school kitchen. After
this
Linking Words
 happen they have obesity and
other disease
Change the wording
another disease
other diseases
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.
In addition
Linking Words
 that if we always eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 it will
wastage
Replace the word
waste
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 of money that you eat out or spend too much money on junk
Use synonyms
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 but
also
Linking Words
 you do not know where the ingredients come from and may be spoiled which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 illness . By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
 has had a negative impact on our life
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Processed foods
  • Nutritional value
  • Chronic diseases
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Economic impact
  • Job creation
  • Environmental degradation
  • Sustainability
  • Dietary habits
  • Consumerism
  • Mass production
  • Public health
  • Health-conscious
What to do next:
Look at other essays: