IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that is a positive trend while other do not. What are your opinion in this

#food #countries #feel #trend
It is irrefutable fact that at present
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
 is
commonly
Replace the word
common
show examples
 in the majority of countries and is happening increasingly renowned. Some
people
 think that it is a positive trend
Change preposition
for us
show examples
us
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
but other
people
 do not. I personally believe that the drawbacks of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
 far outweigh its benefits. My
first
 point is that fast
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 some benefits.
Firstly
this
Change the determiner
this food
these foods
show examples
foods
 can recipe easily and
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
difficulties
Replace the word
difficult
show examples
 for preparing. And
this
 thing
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 beneficial for cooks because they can
easy
Replace the word
easily
show examples
 make
this
 kind of
food
 and
sale
Replace the word
sell
show examples
 it
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
lot of
people
.
Then
 after
this
 phenomenon cooks may have enough financial
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
 for
theirself
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
.
In addition
 that fast
food
Add a missing verb
is useful
show examples
useful
Replace the word
use
show examples
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
lot of workers.Cause workers do not have enough time for preparing
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 mostly for dinner.
That is
 why
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are always eat fast
food
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in order not late for work.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 fast
food
 has some
downside
Fix the agreement mistake
downsides
show examples
.Fast
foods
 are
unhealthy
Add an article
the unhealthy
an unhealthy
show examples
 thing for us.And we can call it junk
food
foods
 . Because they are to bring a lot of
disease
Change to a plural noun
diseases
show examples
.
For example
 obesity
heart
Correct word choice
and heart
show examples
 disease.
Today's
Change noun form
Today
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 suffer from obesity actually young
people
. Because they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
go to school and they always eat junk
food
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 school kitchen. After
this
 happen they have obesity and
other disease
Change the wording
another disease
other diseases
show examples
.
In addition
 that if we always eat fast
food
 it will
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 of money that you eat out or spend too much money on junk
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 but
also
 you do not know where the ingredients come from and may be spoiled which
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 illness . By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
 has had a negative impact on our life
Submitted by asqar4997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: