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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

#people #changes #lives #kinds
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It is generally believed that humans become habituated to their daily routines and resist any sort of changes in their lives. In
this
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 essay, the effects of being in the comfort zone will be discussed, and some promising remedies to the problems will be examined before my conclusion is reached. To commence with, not wanting to live in a way
that is
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 different from a normal lifestyle might possess negative consequences. These days overuse of electronic devices on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis has led to the deprivation of normal sleep hours: 8 hours per day because of which the general health condition of people is low.
In addition
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, some even suffer from severe mental health conditions
such
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 as memory loss. To put it clearly, students who sleep late and use mobile phones every day are found to have short-term memory.
Hence
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, performing the same unwanted habit can cause degradation of
one
Use synonyms
 fitness.
One
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 way to resolve
this
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 kind of issue could be by practising
more
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apply
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healthier habits either by joining any motivational classes or by convincing oneself to be open to changes. By attending the teachings of health practitioners
one
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 could be aware of the impact inadequate sleep has on the mind and body as a whole.
Thereafter
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, the person could motivate himself/herself to go to bed early at least five minutes earlier than the previous day.
For instance
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, Sadhgurus have a fixed schedule of sleeping early and waking up early
due to
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 which they are
more
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healthier than the common people.
This
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 slow and steady practice will
finally
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 yield to be fruitful.
As a result
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, enough sleep will
then
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 lead to a healthy mind and body. In a nutshell, individuals naturally do not want to change the way they have lived which can cause harmful effects on their bodies and mind.
However
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,
one
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 solution could be getting inspired by experts and implementing it in their lives.
Submitted by amritghimire451 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more clearly and concisely stated. The essay demonstrates a fair degree of coherence and cohesion with a logical structure. However, there is a need for improvement in the use of paragraphing to enhance the organization and flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task fairly effectively, presenting clear ideas on the problems caused by resistance to change and some solutions to these problems. However, the examples provided are not fully relevant and specific to support the ideas. The essay could benefit from providing more appropriate and concrete examples.
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