Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

These days, an increasing number of
people
are attempting to use different ways of conventional
treatment
and medicines rather than see a
doctor
. From my perspective,
this
is a negative development which can lead to potentially harmful situations and
also
problems later on
our
Change preposition
in our
show examples
life. On the one hand,
People
are looking for
alternative
treatment
because it is cheaper than going to the hospital. It is widely known that medical
treatment
is quite expensive. Some
people
can afford to pay the bills,
however
, the rest who are having financial difficulties prefer to find
alternative
solutions to cure the ailment because they offer cheaper costs.
For example
, getting an
alternative
medicine for a broken leg only costs $20 compared to seeing a real
doctor
which costs about $100.
On the other hand
, visiting a
doctor
is safer than seeing a non-medical practitioner.
People
, seeing the practitioner, may be falsely diagnosed and given clinically unproven or even dangerous
treatment
. Some of them may worsen their condition, and eventually, patients will go to a professional
doctor
to treat their problems.
For instance
, when
people
break their leg, they go to a traditional therapist who treats them in the wrong way and alleviates their condition. They may suffer infections and cause the leg to be amputated. I believe for these reasons,
people
with health issues should see a
doctor
directly to get the right medical
treatment
rather than
alternative
treatment
. In conclusion,
although
non-medical
treatment
offers cheaper expenses to
people
, it poses greater risks than going to the hospital. I believe that
people
should stick to visiting their
doctor
rather than betting on their own health.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the task. While you present a clear argument against using alternative medicines, you could enhance your response by recognizing possible benefits in a balanced way. This will provide a more comprehensive treatment of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to connect ideas more smoothly. While your essay is structured well, varying your linking expressions can make your argument flow better and add complexity to your language use.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with more detailed examples or further explanation. Adding more depth to your examples or including additional evidence can strengthen your argument and provide a more persuasive case.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: