Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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These days, an increasing number of
people
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are attempting to use different ways of conventional
treatment
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and medicines rather than see a
doctor
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. From my perspective,
this
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is a negative development which can lead to potentially harmful situations and
also
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problems later on
our
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in our
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life. On the one hand,
People
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are looking for
alternative
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treatment
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because it is cheaper than going to the hospital. It is widely known that medical
treatment
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is quite expensive. Some
people
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can afford to pay the bills,
however
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, the rest who are having financial difficulties prefer to find
alternative
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solutions to cure the ailment because they offer cheaper costs.
For example
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, getting an
alternative
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medicine for a broken leg only costs $20 compared to seeing a real
doctor
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which costs about $100.
On the other hand
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, visiting a
doctor
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is safer than seeing a non-medical practitioner.
People
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, seeing the practitioner, may be falsely diagnosed and given clinically unproven or even dangerous
treatment
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. Some of them may worsen their condition, and eventually, patients will go to a professional
doctor
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to treat their problems.
For instance
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, when
people
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break their leg, they go to a traditional therapist who treats them in the wrong way and alleviates their condition. They may suffer infections and cause the leg to be amputated. I believe for these reasons,
people
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with health issues should see a
doctor
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directly to get the right medical
treatment
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rather than
alternative
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treatment
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. In conclusion,
although
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non-medical
treatment
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offers cheaper expenses to
people
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, it poses greater risks than going to the hospital. I believe that
people
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should stick to visiting their
doctor
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rather than betting on their own health.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the task. While you present a clear argument against using alternative medicines, you could enhance your response by recognizing possible benefits in a balanced way. This will provide a more comprehensive treatment of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to connect ideas more smoothly. While your essay is structured well, varying your linking expressions can make your argument flow better and add complexity to your language use.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with more detailed examples or further explanation. Adding more depth to your examples or including additional evidence can strengthen your argument and provide a more persuasive case.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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