In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

To have a private
home
rather than renting is crucial for
people
in many countries. To some extent, I agree with
this
statement.
This
case is happening as a purpose of human life and I feel that
this
case is positive. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will explain the reason why
people
tend to buy homes rather than
renting
Wrong verb form
rent
show examples
.
In addition
, I believe that
this
is a positive situation to some extent. The
first
reason is that
people
have been ambitious since they were young. When
people
were young birds, their parents usually had their own
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
to nurture
themtheir
Correct your spelling
them their
children.
Thus
, the same ambition will be transported to
themtheir
Correct your spelling
them their
the their
children. The parents tend to motivate their children to earn money by working in order to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their daily basis including owning a private
home
.
This
motivation will staythrive and develop in their
childrens’
Correct your spelling
children’s
show examples
heads.
As a result
, someday they tend to buy a
home
.
Moreover
On
Add the comma(s)
,On
show examples
the other hand, owning a personal
home
rather than renting will
bringmake
Correct your spelling
bring make
comfort
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
for
people
who are
got
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
married.
Moreover
,
To own
Change the verb form
Owning
show examples
a private
home
is one of their goals.
People
tend to do everything in order to buy a new
home
for their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
People
will work no matter what and even work all day
along
Correct your spelling
long
show examples
just to pursue their dream “
owning
Change preposition
of owning
show examples
a
home
. Having a private
home
may make them more focused on doing another job. To sum up, owning a
home
is important for
people
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
for those who got married
instead
of renting. That will make them more comfortable because
people
who are renting homes will not bother them.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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