In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

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To have a private

home

Use synonyms

rather than renting is crucial for

people

Use synonyms

in many countries. To some extent, I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement.

This

Linking Words

case is happening as a purpose of human life and I feel that

this

Linking Words

case is positive. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will explain the reason why

people

Use synonyms

tend to buy homes rather than

renting

Wrong verb form

rent

show examples

In addition

Linking Words

, I believe that

this

Linking Words

is a positive situation to some extent. The

first

Linking Words

reason is that

people

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have been ambitious since they were young. When

people

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were young birds, their parents usually had their own

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home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

to nurture

themtheir

Correct your spelling

them their

children.

Thus

Linking Words

, the same ambition will be transported to

themtheir

Correct your spelling

them their

the their

children. The parents tend to motivate their children to earn money by working in order to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their daily basis including owning a private

home

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This

Linking Words

motivation will staythrive and develop in their

childrens’

Correct your spelling

children’s

show examples

heads.

As a result

Linking Words

, someday they tend to buy a

home

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

Add the comma(s)

,On

show examples

the other hand, owning a personal

home

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rather than renting will

bringmake

Correct your spelling

bring make

comfort

especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

for

people

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who are

got

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

married.

Moreover

Linking Words

To own

Change the verb form

Owning

show examples

a private

home

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is one of their goals.

People

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tend to do everything in order to buy a new

home

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for their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

People

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will work no matter what and even work all day

along

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long

show examples

just to pursue their dream “

owning

Change preposition

of owning

show examples

home

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. Having a private

home

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may make them more focused on doing another job. To sum up, owning a

home

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is important for

people

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especially

Add the comma(s)

,especially

show examples

for those who got married

instead

Linking Words

of renting. That will make them more comfortable because

people

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who are renting homes will not bother them.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Jan 04 2023

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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Many manfuactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. do you agree or disagree ?