IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe the large shopping malls are replacing local shops which is bad for local economies. What is your opinion?

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For a long time, small businesses have been struggling due to the
on-going
Correct your spelling
ongoing
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 expansion of large companies to every corner and every street.
This
Linking Words
 change has
also
Linking Words
 touched local
shops
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 as they have been
taken-over
Correct your spelling
taken over
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 by shopping
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
However
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, is
this
Linking Words
 a good change? In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will
illustare
Correct your spelling
illustrate
 why it is better for large companies to take the place of local
shops
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.
Firstly
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, shopping
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 have become a hub for everyone's needs. It is no secret that shopping
malls
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attarct
Correct your spelling
attract
 many consumers with different needs and
preferances
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preferences
. If you need a
variaty
Correct your spelling
variety
 of
ingrediants
Correct your spelling
ingredients
, drinks, cooking tools, clothes, perfumes, and more, you will find them in the shopping mall. Local economies thrive on consumer spending.
Therefore
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, providing the buyer with many options
at
Change preposition
in
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 one place, allows them to purchase more items.
In contrast
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,
This
Linking Words
 luxury can not be
afforeded
Correct your spelling
afforded
 by local
shops
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 which specialize in one aspect.
Hence
Linking Words
,
people
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 will always gravitate towards the more convenient option which is the large shopping
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. Another reason is job creation. Large
malls
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 hire a great
number
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 of
people
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 to tailor to the needs of their customers. These jobs include but are not limited to customer service,
cashires
Correct your spelling
cashiers
cashier
, janitors, and security personnel. Economies are based on spending power, and the best way to increase the spending power is by giving
people
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 salaries to spend.
Contrasingly
Correct your spelling
Contrastingly
, small
shops
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 hire a scarce
number
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 of employees to help the buyers.
This
Linking Words
 results in
high
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a high
the high
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number
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 of unemployment. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
 shopping
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centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 and small
shops
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 have their advantages and disadvantages, I believe that shopping
malls
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 should displace local
shops
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 for the sake of the economy. Economies prosper
on
Change preposition
by
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 selling goods to the largest
number
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 of
people
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 possible, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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shopping
malls
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 way to achieve that.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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