Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

It is argued that in order to avoid illness and disease, higher authorities ought to focus more on minimising environmental

pollution

and housing issues. I agree with

this

notion. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss my point with relevant epitome. To commence with, there is no doubt that the major reason for

spreading

Correct article usage

the spreading

show examples

disease

Change preposition

of disease

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

pollution

In other words

, due to industrial factories and vehicles, hazardous gases have spread all over which affects directly the health of the

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

. They might be diagnosed with harmful diseases

such

as Asthma and various respiratory diseases.

For instance

Correct article usage

show examples

recent forecast demonstrates that the air quality of Delhi is 385 which is no doubt considered very poor.

Moreover

, due to the increment in the number of cars on road not only

pollution

is increasing but

also

it becomes a serious life threat to human life.

Thus

, reducing environmental

pollution

should be the

first

priority of the government.

Besides

, it is undeniable that there is a huge gap between the demand and supply of houses nowadays which leads to the growth of slums in cities. To elaborate, due to less availability of residences, individuals are forced to live in slums which are not hygienic, and

also

there are no sanitation facilities for drainage systems and garbage disposal.

Consequently

, people's health might affect.

Therefore

, if people have provided adequate housing facilities, the possibility of illness would be overcome. In conclusion, I believe that government should concentrate on

pollution

and housing concerns due to widespread gases and smoke which would become a severe problem for human health and

also

sufficient homes should construct.

Submitted by priyankagill824 on Thu Jan 05 2023

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for instance
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to give a clear example
such as
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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

At the present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?