Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

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It is argued that in order to avoid illness and disease, higher authorities ought to focus more on minimising environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

and housing issues. I agree with

this

Linking Words

notion. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss my point with relevant epitome. To commence with, there is no doubt that the major reason for

spreading

Correct article usage

the spreading

show examples

disease

Change preposition

of disease

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

pollution

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

, due to industrial factories and vehicles, hazardous gases have spread all over which affects directly the health of the

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

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. They might be diagnosed with harmful diseases

such

Linking Words

as Asthma and various respiratory diseases.

For instance

Linking Words

Correct article usage

show examples

recent forecast demonstrates that the air quality of Delhi is 385 which is no doubt considered very poor.

Moreover

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, due to the increment in the number of cars on road not only

pollution

Use synonyms

is increasing but

also

Linking Words

it becomes a serious life threat to human life.

Thus

Linking Words

, reducing environmental

pollution

Use synonyms

should be the

first

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priority of the government.

Besides

Linking Words

, it is undeniable that there is a huge gap between the demand and supply of houses nowadays which leads to the growth of slums in cities. To elaborate, due to less availability of residences, individuals are forced to live in slums which are not hygienic, and

also

Linking Words

there are no sanitation facilities for drainage systems and garbage disposal.

Consequently

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, people's health might affect.

Therefore

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, if people have provided adequate housing facilities, the possibility of illness would be overcome. In conclusion, I believe that government should concentrate on

pollution

Use synonyms

and housing concerns due to widespread gases and smoke which would become a severe problem for human health and

also

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sufficient homes should construct.

Submitted by priyankagill824 on Thu Jan 05 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. (# typing) What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The pictures illustrate the way how plastic bottles are being recycled. It is a plastic circle which never ends up.

People nowdays send than talk on text messages more frequently the Phone What are the reasons for this trend? Do the advantages of texting outweigh the disadvantages?