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Band 6.5

in many countries, number of older people are increase. some people says that this will cause more problems to that countries. others say that older people can play a role in society. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #people #role #society
Nowadays , there is a huge war between
experience
 and youth force in which one side believes that
experience
 is more vital and the other side appreciate fresh force to get numerous triumph. A rise in the number of ageing people is coming
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a reality and it has caused concern. Personally, if I were them, making a balance between inexperienced and senior forces was my
first
 intention. By making a comparison I will show how it works. On the one hand, we have a society in which the burst of
experience
 and the lack of fresh force has manifested themselves a lot. There are lots of manufacturers in which all forces are ageing and just can manage the process and they do not have any ambition or foresight.
For instance
, the whole circle is handled and there is no passion or creativity. Even they cannot manage the heavy levels in which they need physical potential to be done.
This
 system is doomed to failure due to a lack of motivated young people.
On the other hand
, a community which is full of talented and fresh forces and containing numerous factories with all these employees, despite the fact that they can do anything they want and have unlimited creativity will help them to grab the full attention of their customers, some of the lines need
experience
 to be handled and in that the whole system will be useless since they do not know what they should do. For illustration, in the production line of a paper factory which has been launched recently ,the forecasting of the volume of outputs under heavy pressure has been forgotten.So the whole process at time peak time will be suspended. To sum up , a considerable rise in the older population caused worry in dominants as well as some say it is good and others consider it dangerous. Personally, believe that making a balance between
these two side
Change the determiner
this two side
these two sides
show examples
 make resolve every problem.
Submitted by fanava.itnovin on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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