Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In
this
day and age, fashion
is always a topic that many people
are interested in. Some individuals
believe that fashion
items
are too expensive. However
, others claim that this
is acceptable because fashion
is vital to our lives. In my opinion, clothes
and shoes are not cheap enough for many people
to buy. The following essay will discuss both views.
Firstly
, nowadays, many products related to fashion
have a very high cost for many individuals
. Some citizens who do not have high living standards or have not had a job have to pay their bills and other necessities so the remainder of their salaries will not be enough to buy fashion
items
. For example
, students who can not earn money
often buy clothes
or shoes with their parent's money
so fashion
items
from a renowned brand such
as Nike, Chanel or Gucci are not affordable for them because it is too expensive and they do not have much money
. Instead
of buying it, they will buy clothes
or shoes from shops which have lower costs.
However
, some citizens say that these fashion
items
have reasonable prices because fashion
is necessary for our lives. It is also
true because fashion
makes people
more unique and it also
describes characteristics of each individual so many people
accept that they will spend a lot of money
purchasing fashion
items
. For instance
, for wealthy individuals
, it takes them huge amount of money
to hire a designer who designs for them special clothes
so that they look different from others and have an impressive appearance.
In conclusion, today, the cost of fashion
items
is too high for many people
but to others, it is reasonable because it is also
very crucial in life. In my point of view, the cost of fashion
items
should be decreased to be appropriate for many individuals
.Submitted by duongntt.tld on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear response to both views. However, try to provide more balanced arguments for each perspective to enhance your discussion and ensure both viewpoints are equally represented.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are developed more comprehensively with more specific examples and details. This will help in making your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow and structure of your essay. It will be beneficial to have each paragraph transition smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which successfully encapsulates your overall perspective on the topic.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your points, which helps illustrate your arguments effectively.