Some people argue that fashion items cost too much money. Others say that this is acceptable because fashion is an important part of life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
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day and age,
fashion
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is always a topic that many
people
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are interested in. Some
individuals
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believe that
fashion
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items
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are too expensive.
However
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, others claim that
this
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is acceptable because
fashion
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is vital to our lives. In my opinion,
clothes
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and shoes are not cheap enough for many
people
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to buy. The following essay will discuss both views.
Firstly
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, nowadays, many products related to
fashion
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have a very high cost for many
individuals
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. Some citizens who do not have high living standards or have not had a job have to pay their bills and other necessities so the remainder of their salaries will not be enough to buy
fashion
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items
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.
For example
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, students who can not earn
money
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often buy
clothes
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or shoes with their parent's
money
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so
fashion
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items
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from a renowned brand
such
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as Nike, Chanel or Gucci are not affordable for them because it is too expensive and they do not have much
money
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.
Instead
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of buying it, they will buy
clothes
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or shoes from shops which have lower costs.
However
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, some citizens say that these
fashion
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items
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have reasonable prices because
fashion
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is necessary for our lives. It is
also
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true because
fashion
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makes
people
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more unique and it
also
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describes characteristics of each individual so many
people
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accept that they will spend a lot of
money
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purchasing
fashion
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items
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.
For instance
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, for wealthy
individuals
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, it takes them huge amount of
money
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to hire a designer who designs for them special
clothes
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so that they look different from others and have an impressive appearance. In conclusion, today, the cost of
fashion
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items
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is too high for many
people
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but to others, it is reasonable because it is
also
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very crucial in life. In my point of view, the cost of
fashion
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items
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should be decreased to be appropriate for many
individuals
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.
Submitted by duongntt.tld on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear response to both views. However, try to provide more balanced arguments for each perspective to enhance your discussion and ensure both viewpoints are equally represented.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are developed more comprehensively with more specific examples and details. This will help in making your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow and structure of your essay. It will be beneficial to have each paragraph transition smoothly to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which successfully encapsulates your overall perspective on the topic.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples to support your points, which helps illustrate your arguments effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic gap
  • impractical consumer behavior
  • overspending
  • accumulation of debt
  • materialism
  • superficial values
  • self-esteem
  • self-expression
  • psychological benefits
  • social benefits
  • quality of materials
  • craftsmanship
  • sustainable practices
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