IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others believe there are better ways to reduce crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is often argued that the most effective way to reduce
crime
Use synonyms
 is by giving longer prison sentences.
While
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 some people believe that stricter punishments will deter criminals, I think that alternative methods
such
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 as
education
Use synonyms
 and rehabilitation are more effective in the long term.
Firstly
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, supporters of long prison sentences believe that harsh punishments act as a deterrent to
crime
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is because when potential criminals know they will face a long time in jail, they may think twice before breaking the law.
For example
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, in some countries with strict penalties,
such
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 as Singapore,
crime
Use synonyms
 rates are relatively low.
This
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 policy can lead to a reduction in repeat offences, as criminals are kept away from society for a longer period.
Secondly
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, there are more effective methods to reduce
crime
Use synonyms
 that focus on addressing its root causes. If people are educated and provided with job opportunities, they are less likely to turn to criminal activities. Studies have shown that investing in community programs and rehabilitation leads to lower
crime
Use synonyms
 rates in the long term. In Norway,
for instance
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, prisoners receive
education
Use synonyms
 and psychological support, which helps them reintegrate into society after release.
On the other hand
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, some argue that only fear can stop people from committing crimes.
Although
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this
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 approach may work in the short term, it does not solve the underlying social issues
such
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 as poverty and lack of
education
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, relying solely on punishment is unlikely to result in lasting change. In conclusion,
while
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 longer prison sentences may help reduce
crime
Use synonyms
 temporarily, I believe that addressing social problems through
education
Use synonyms
 and rehabilitation is a more sustainable solution. Governments and communities should focus on prevention rather than punishment to build a safer society.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas clearly with words such as 'firstly', 'on the other hand', and 'in conclusion'.
task achievement
Expand on your examples a bit more to provide clearer support for your points.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You provide a good balance of both views before presenting your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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