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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to their studies in school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

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Children
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 are the future of
nation
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the nation
a nation
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. They
contributes
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contribute
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in
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to
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 the economy and represent their country worldwide but nowadays youth is lacking focus on their
studies
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 in institute. There are several causes of
this
Linking Words
 like environment, technological gadgets and not
participation
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a participation
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 in other
activities
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. The
first
Linking Words
reason
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 that comes
in
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to
show examples
 my mind is their home environment. Sometimes pupils
suffers
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suffer
show examples
 from bad situations in their homes which
ruins
Correct subject-verb agreement
ruin
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 their concentration
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
studies
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, when
children
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 see their parents suffering from
poor
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a poor
the poor
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 financial condition or their mother has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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suffered
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suffering
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 from domestic violence. The
second
Linking Words
reason
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 is,
children
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 use mobiles,
computers
Correct word choice
and computers
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 all the
time
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 which somehow impacts their health and mind. They get addiction
of
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to
show examples
 using these technical devices.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in schools students think about
videos
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video
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 games and other stuff which they always see
into
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on
show examples
 these gadgets. The
third
Linking Words
reason
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 is not getting
time
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 to get engaged
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 hobbies and play with their friends.
For instance
Linking Words
, some guardians force their
children
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 to focus only on
Use synonyms
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
 all the
time
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either
Correct word choice
whether
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 they are at home or school.
This
Linking Words
 forceful condition automatically moves them away from
studies
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 as they always try to find some way to do other
activities
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 like play. There are numerous ways that can solve
this
Linking Words
 problem and helps to increase their concentration on
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studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
. As an
example
Add a comma
,example
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 enough
time
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 has been provided by their guardians to get
involve
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involved
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 in games and sports. In
this
Linking Words
 way they will feel fresh as well as their brain will get active and they
becomes
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become
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 happy which will directly increase their interest in
studies
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. Moving
further
Linking Words
, parents should give them limited access of using mobiles and tablets because overuse of these devices has a bad effect on their wellness. In schools, extra
activities
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 and
Add an article
the task
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task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 should be provided by their mentors. So that they can participate in sports and other volunteer
activities
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 which help them in many ways. In conclusion, parents, family and teachers all should take care of the mental state of
children
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 that how they are behaving and why they are lacking concentration
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
studies
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 because there is a possibility of any
reason
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 behind that they are not doing well in
Use synonyms
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
 in schools and classroom.

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Concentration
  • Engagement
  • Curriculum
  • Attention span
  • Learning disorders
  • Interactive learning
  • Personalized learning
  • Supportive learning environment
  • Mental health
  • Organizational skills
  • Educational policy
  • Mindfulness
  • Screen time
What to do next:
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