Some people think that is it a good thing for senior management to have a very high salary compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree?

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It is a contentious issue what salary deserves senior staff. Some approve that the highest in the hierarchy receives the best compensation. I opt for
this
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system because with each promotion comes responsibilities and higher risk.
Moreover
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, those professionals are very experienced.
To begin
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with, it is an incentive for
lower positioned
Add a hyphen
lower-positioned
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employees in a firm. Namely, if they do not see the possibility of an increase in their salary, they will not like to overtake new, challenging tasks. Nowadays, people value their time and work more than ever before.
Therefore
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, they will choose to be with their families rather than become senior managers if there is no subject of additional profit mentioned. Certainly, people do not want only to grow within the company, but
also
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to have enough resources to compensate for the energy they put into a workforce.
Furthermore
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, we should appreciate skills and
overall
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expertise.
For instance
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, If I had many years of experience and a senior job, I would expect to have a very high salary compared to workers below me. Personally, I see a lot of injustice in the opposite solution.
While
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everyone
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every one
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is equal, the best labour workers are escaping their country in order to find a place that would give them significantly higher money compared to fresh professionals.
To conclude
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, there is a common phenomenon of spending more resources on senior management. I believe that
this
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is a positive thing because it represents the value of higher positions
as well as
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gives relevant motivation for others in a corporation and shows that giving up other stuff namely, time with their family would pay off
financialy
Correct your spelling
financially
.

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task achievement
While you present clear ideas, make sure to expand upon them with more detailed explanations and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Focus on smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each point made is directly linked to the main argument for a stronger overall structure.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively outlines your stance on the issue at hand and sets the stage for your argument.
task achievement
You make a valid point about motivation and incentives for lower-positioned employees, which adds depth to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Meritocracy
  • Responsibilities
  • Economic Incentive
  • Talent Attraction
  • Disparity
  • Demotivate
  • Undervaluation
  • Productivity
  • Morale
  • Remuneration
  • Equity
  • Resentment
  • Disconnect
  • Profit Sharing
  • Compromise
  • Aligning
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