Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is agreed that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

to gather

Change the verb form

gathering

show examples

people

Use synonyms

of different

society

Fix the agreement mistake

societies

show examples

and

genre

Fix the agreement mistake

genres

show examples

melody

Add an article

the melody

show examples

is a positive

way

Use synonyms

. I completely agree with the statement because

music

Use synonyms

has a strong griping capacity which attracts almost every age of

people

Use synonyms

and it soothes

people

Use synonyms

’s

Use synonyms

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

that they forget diversity. In our world, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

thousand

Change preposition

of type

show examples

type

Change to a plural noun

types

show examples

tune

Fix the agreement mistake

tunes

show examples

melody

Fix the agreement mistake

melodies

show examples

. Every melody has a different aura which attracts different genres of

people

Use synonyms

. Not only that,

music

Use synonyms

has a magical

power

Use synonyms

which can create a positive atmosphere.

People

Use synonyms

enjoy listening

Use synonyms

music

Change preposition

to music

show examples

because it gives them internal peace.

Music

Use synonyms

helps

people

Use synonyms

to forget sorrows and calm their

Use synonyms

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

way

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

from different places,

society

Fix the agreement mistake

societies

show examples

and ages gather together to celebrate their life. Here, it is a satisfactory

way

Use synonyms

to put forward

people

Use synonyms

from

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

genre

Fix the agreement mistake

genres

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, whenever we

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

any

music

Use synonyms

, it has

Change the article

the

show examples

power

Use synonyms

to control our

Use synonyms

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

Such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

slow

music

Use synonyms

calm

Change the verb form

calms

show examples

us,

loud

Correct word choice

and loud

show examples

music

Use synonyms

makes us dance.

Additionally

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

has a magical potion which helps to

soothes

Wrong verb form

soothe

show examples

people

Use synonyms

’s

Use synonyms

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

. It has

Change the article

the

show examples

power

Use synonyms

to catch

people

Use synonyms

like a dreamcatcher. As

music

Use synonyms

helps

people

Use synonyms

to dance out loud, it

also

Linking Words

helps

people

Use synonyms

to forget diversity.

Music

Use synonyms

has a different

power

Use synonyms

to gather

people

Use synonyms

who have different

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

different

Correct word choice

and different

show examples

choices.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it can establish

Add an article

a relationship

the relationship

show examples

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

between

people

Use synonyms

out there from

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

genre

Fix the agreement mistake

genres

show examples

Correct word choice

and age

show examples

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

For example

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

can bring

people

Use synonyms

closer from

different

Add an article

a different

show examples

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

different

Correct word choice

and different

show examples

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

People

Use synonyms

can fall in love with the help of

music

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

music

Use synonyms

is the best

way

Use synonyms

to establish a remarkable bond between

people

Use synonyms

. And cherry on top

people

Use synonyms

who love

music

Use synonyms

will live their life melodiously.

Submitted by mfh.faisalhasan on Fri Jan 06 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion.
In some advanced countries, it is not unusual for more than 50% of young adults to attend college or university. Critics, however, claim that many university courses are worthless and young people would be better off gaining skills in the workplace. In this essay, I will examine both sides of this argument and try to reach a conclusion.
6.5
band
Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.The
escalating trend of utilizing animals as objects of experiment has sparked a debate. Some opine that such a phenomenon should be forbidden because of the appalling impacts, while others argue that this is essential owing to its contribution to scientific discoveries. In this essay, I will elaborate on the reason for justification and provide a possible alternative.
6
band
Children find it difficult to focus during school hours. Discuss the main reasons and a solution
Many children argue that it is hard to focus in class. There are diverse reasons why kids and teenagers may experience this difficulty at school. Some of the most significant ones include neurodiverse conditions and an old-fashioned educational system. A good outcome includes the review of education methods applied by schools, providing an inclusive learning environment.
7
band
Write a letter to a book store manager who is living in another city. Ask him/her to make available a book that you are interested in. In your letter, you should tell: – What book you are looking for? – Why you need this book? – How you plan to purchase the book?
I am writing this letter to ask you if you could arrange a very rare book for me.
4
band
You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months say how your work could be done while you are away ask for his/her help in arranging it
with pleasure , I'm writing this letter to you through the opputunity of a 6 months working position in the central office. As you know it's about 6 years that I work for the company at the same position.During these years i've learned many new tips from my career and my colleagues. I think I became well experienced and elligable to cope my duties and working responsiblities now. This opportunity of working in a different environment with new responsibilities could help me to boost my skills and make me more familliar with different roles and challanges .

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your own opinion.

Children find it difficult to focus during school hours. Discuss the main reasons and a solution

Write a letter to a book store manager who is living in another city. Ask him/her to make available a book that you are interested in. In your letter, you should tell: – What book you are looking for? – Why you need this book? – How you plan to purchase the book?