We live today in an electronic information age. It is easier to be connected by technology yet many people seem to no closer to feeling happy in their lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Even though it is true that
people
living in the 21st century can easily get in touch with their
love
Replace the word
loved
show examples
ones thanks to the
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
development of
technology
,
however
, many individuals are still unable to achieve
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
life
statisfaction
Correct your spelling
satisfaction
. In
this
essay, I will talk about two main reasons why
technology
is still unable to bring happiness to some
people
.
Firstly
, alongside
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
its benefits of connecting
people
from all over the world,
technology
has
also
raised many new issues
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
such
as
cyber bully
Correct your spelling
cyberbully
show examples
and digital scams.
Cyber bully
Correct your spelling
Cyberbully
show examples
is an online version of bullying in which the victims are usually
harrassed
Correct your spelling
harassed
show examples
through texts or images by either a group or another individual. It can happen in any age
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
,
however
, it is more common among children and teenagers.
Cyber bully
Correct your spelling
Cyberbully
show examples
is highly dangerous to youngsters as it can cause
psycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
distress and social isolation to the victims.
In addition
, personal information can be stolen online by hackers and used for
illigal
Correct your spelling
illegal
purposes. Scams
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
one of the most common
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
related to insecure digital privacy.
For example
, scammers can use a person's
idetification
Correct your spelling
identification
or information to create a scam that contains their details and offer a fake prize in return
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the victim's bank account detail. Many
people
have lost a lot of
these money
Change the determiner
this money
show examples
to these scammers and even suffer from financial difficulties.
Secondly
, despite that
people
now are able to stay connected with others from all around the world, online interaction still cannot replace
face-to-face
Add an article
a face-to-face
show examples
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
. Texts, phone calls, video calls or even
virtal
Correct your spelling
virtual
reality chat are methods to make new friends and keep in touch with loved ones,
however
, they fail to create meaningful memories and strengthen a relationship.
For example
, during the Covid-19 pandemic, when
peole
Correct your spelling
people
could only socialise on digital platforms
such
as zoom,
facebook
Change the capitalization
Facebook
show examples
or skype, the number of activities was
limitted
Correct your spelling
limited
and
people
who were shy in front of the camera found it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
difficult to make new friends.
Furthermore
, many memorable moments can only be created by
physcial
Correct your spelling
physical
touches
such
as kisses or hugs which online interaction can not fully deliver. As
people
tend to addict to
technology
and forget the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
of face-to-face socialisation, the rate of social isolation is soaring.
This
phenomenon has created
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of meaningful relationships in
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
individual life and resulted in difficulty to feel connected and happy in life. In
conslusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
enabling
people
to stay connected
easiser
Correct your spelling
easier
than in the past, many individuals still find it
hared
Correct your spelling
hard
show examples
to feel happy because of
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
impacts caused by digital problems and lack of meaningful physical interaction.
Submitted by lpthao317 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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