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Band 4

The best way to reduce crime amongst young people is to teach parents good parenting skills. Do you agree or disagree?

#crime #people #parents #skills
It is an obvious fact that the rate of
crime
 is burgeoning significantly nowadays due to poverty levels as well as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of knowledge among juveniles. Some reckon that a better way to mitigate the
crime
 guardian should to teach better skills
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 abilities and better parenting due to which
this
 issue might be solved. I fully agree with
this
 notion. I shall support both viewpoints with an example. At the outset, there are innumerable reasons which support the fact that why
parents
 should teach better parenting.
The
Correct article usage
First
show examples
first
 and foremost is. they should be away from their
children
 from gadgets. To be more precise, no one can deny the fact that people are living in
modern
Add an article
the modern
a modern
show examples
 era where everything they can watch on mobile whether
crime
 news or drama
serial
Fix the agreement mistake
serials
show examples
, Not only
senior
Add an article
a senior
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 but
also
 juveniles watch drama
serial
Fix the agreement mistake
serials
show examples
instead
 of
Add an article
an animate
show examples
animate
Replace the word
animated
show examples
cartoon
Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
show examples
.
For example
, Cid is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 vital as well as eminent
crime
 show over the
global
Replace the word
globe
show examples
this
 show
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to people
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
commit
Change the verb form
committing
show examples
crime
such
 as rape ,
muder
Correct your spelling
murder
,
stolens
Correct your spelling
stolen
,
so
Correct word choice
and so
show examples
 on.
Secondly
,
poverty
Correct article usage
the poverty
show examples
 level declines
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Thus
, individuals migrate to
other city
Change the wording
another city
other cities
show examples
 in order to
job
Wrong verb form
jobs
show examples
 but due to
Correct your spelling
unemployment
employment
enemployment
Add a comma
,enemployment
show examples
 they are unable to do
Add an article
the job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. So, they
starting
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
 commuting
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
. Moving
further
,
Parents
 are the
first
 teacher of
children
 They ought to take responsibility that they should be
influenece
Correct your spelling
influence
influenced
 their
children
 to do
outdor
Correct your spelling
outdoor
acitivity
Correct your spelling
activity
 rather than watch
crime
showes
Correct your spelling
shows
 if
children
 do not agree ,
parents
Add the comma(s)
,parents
show examples
 allow them to watch
studies related
Add a hyphen
studies-related
show examples
 videos. In
addtion
Correct your spelling
addition
 to , it is not
role
Add an article
the role
show examples
 of
parents
Correct article usage
the parents
show examples
 but
also
role
Add an article
the role
show examples
 of the government owing
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they must
installed
Change the verb form
install
show examples
 industries in order to jobs as well as launch
campus
Fix the agreement mistake
campuses
show examples
 in every
localities
Change to a singular noun
locality
show examples
aresult
Correct your spelling
a result
result
, people do not suffer from job and
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 level might be declined.
Submitted by dhillonkirat19 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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