Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you gree or disagree with this statement?

Recently, many people think that we have too many options to choose how to live our lives, but some say there are too many. I personally disagree on
this
matter because having many choices usually occurs among the privileged populations who already have the upper hand. Low to middle-class families need to work harder to be able to achieve what they want in life. With that alone, their choice to live a good and decent life without having to worry about what to eat for their next meal becomes limited. In Indonesia, more than half of the population was still unemployed and unable to meet their basic needs. Another factor is that teenagers who want to continue their studies to a higher degree will focus on their dreams and what they are passionate about. When it comes to passion, other choices might seem indifferent to them. The majority of students will choose a major that they are interested in, and they will
also
consider the current economy and industry, where there will be a large number of them who choose the same field of study.
On the other hand
, people who believe they have too many options might
be seeing
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
it from the perspective of privileged citizens,
such
as successful businessmen and their relatives.
In addition
, upper-class
society
has a higher salary and many connections, and with that, they can easily have what they want even if it’s not in their primary needs.
For example
, upper-class
society
would collect
Wrong verb form
collects
show examples
expensive watches, bags, and cars as their hobby,
while
low-to-middle-class families need to save a portion of their salary just to get a good meal. In conclusion,
while
the options are always available, the variety of them can only be chosen by a particular
society
,
such
as those in upper-class
society
.
Submitted by octavia.0910 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the writer's position on the statement to address all aspects of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
Lexical Resource
Expand the vocabulary and utilize more varied and precise expressions to enrich the lexical resource of the essay.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structures and aim for more complexity by incorporating a variety of structures to enhance grammatical range and accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: