An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

The number of specialists,
such
as teachers and doctors, who are moving from their poor hometowns to
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
countries permanently is continuously growing. In my opinion,
this
trend would lead to the loss of educational opportunities and worse medical conditions, an executable solution would be the provision of a better compensation package. The loss of experts in a country, which
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
show examples
internists and professors, would contribute negatively to local education and healthcare. To be detailed, if far more teachers are reluctant to build a career path in their countries,
then
kids would not be educated in an advanced manner, and with regard to the field of healthcare, the dearth of distinguished doctors can be described as the lack of medical resources, which would have detrimental effects on patients.
Overall
, as long as specialists in various areas immigrate to foreign countries, a shortage of specialized workers would occur, and
consequently
, the regional services might have to be terminated. To solve the problems mentioned above, the most useful solution would be to supply a competitive compensation package. Specifically, the reason why people are willing to find an opportunity overseas is that
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
governments are conducting more flexible and strict regulations on both staff and employers, and they can earn more hourly without overwork
in contrast
to poorer areas.
For example
, the wage for professors in a country with a terrible economic position could be as low as 100 dollars,
while
others affiliating
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
top universities would be paid over 1 million dollars per year. In conclusion, there is a trend that scores of professionals like educators and physicians prefer seeking a job position in richer nations, and
as a result
, I think that plenty of children would lose high-quality education and that the local hospitals would not be able to offer better services. To handle
this
phenomenon, a higher salary for professionals is suggested.
Submitted by wangjue60 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
You need to provide a more detailed and comprehensive response to the task question. Make sure to address all aspects of the question and provide a clear position. Use specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Good use of introduction and conclusion. However, ensure that your main points are well supported with relevant examples and explanations throughout the essay to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: