IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many museums and historical sites are manily visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

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There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over whether there are
tourists
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 visiting myriads of
museums
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 and historical sites but not indigenous
residentants
Correct your spelling
residents
.
This
Linking Words
 essay is dedicated to the underlying roots, followed by some equivalent far-reaching remedies to
this
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 dire problem. With respect to the reason why native
people
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 hardly ever go to
museums
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 or historical sites, there are myriads of leisure activities that appeal to
people
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 more than going to historical
museums
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. For the time being, in a technology world,
people
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, especially youngsters, take
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
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 in surfing the web or having a chinwag with their besties. Meanwhile, foreign
tourists
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 are fond of exploring the history and culture of the country they travel to.
For example
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, the Vietnam Museum of Ethnology has attracted more than 400.000 visitors but mainly foreign
people
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.
Thus
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, the government needs to take measures to attract local
tourists
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. In terms of the solutions, the authorities should take many measures to attract local
people
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, especially the young generation. Because through history, we can learn how past societies, systems, ideologies, governments, cultures and technologies were built. All
this
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 knowledge makes them more rounded
people
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 who are better prepared to learn in all their academic subjects.
For instance
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, schools often organize extra-curricular sessions to visit
museums
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 to learn about the country's history and culture. Students will gain knowledge
as well as
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 build pride in the nation.
Therefore
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, those are effective solutions to attract more local
tourists
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.
To sum up
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,
education’s
Change noun form
education
show examples
 measures and promoting the country's image are effective solutions to attract more and more local and foreign
tourists
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 to
museums
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 and historical sites.

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coherence cohesion
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons why local people do not visit museums and historical sites, and proposing measures to attract them. It provides relevant examples but lacks depth in addressing the issue.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay displays a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the development of ideas lacks depth and clear organization, affecting the overall coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Lexical Resource: The vocabulary used is adequate, but there is room for improvement in choosing more precise and academic language to convey ideas effectively.
grammatical range
Grammatical Range: The essay demonstrates adequate control of grammar and sentence structures, but there are instances of informal language and lack of variety in sentence structures.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Take for granted
  • Economical constraints
  • Routine obligations
  • Programming
  • Cater
  • Engagement
  • Community involvement
  • Personal connection
  • Cultural relevance
  • Discounts
  • Sense of ownership
  • Interactive exhibits
  • Local traditions
  • Field trips
  • Cultural bond
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