IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It has been suggested that all young adults should be required to undertake a period of unpaid work helping in the community. What are the benefits and drawbacks of such a requirement for the community and young adults?

#adults #period #work #community #requirement
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
To Begin
Linking Words
 with, volunteering for environmental issues or helping the underprivileged sections of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society helps balance society. Youth or the so-called millennium generation plays a very positive role in helping grow a better world to live in. I strongly believe in
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, today’s digital world has let humans
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be multi-taskers as they are handling their work life and professional life well. Whenever they get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 out of work, they spend that working for the environment and for the weaker section of society.
For Example
Linking Words
, on weekends
people
Use synonyms
 visit beaches to gather plastic waste around it to help clean the water bodies, and some
people
Use synonyms
 take tuition classes for children working as labour,
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 from well-to-do families distribute blankets, food, old books and many kitchen items to the homeless or the ones need of them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are a few drawbacks as well of the unpaid services discussed above, few
people
Use synonyms
 can be hazardous to theft and robbery.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they might have a
time
Use synonyms
 crunch as working in companies and spending
time
Use synonyms
 with families may result in
time
Use synonyms
 issues. Another factor may be that helping an injured animal on roads may lead to animal bites and infection. To conclude, taking
time
Use synonyms
 out, or opting for
such
Linking Words
 a cause will make any human more grounded and calm wherein, realising what privileges one has and how he/she can help a bit to bring that happiness to someone’s face. Making the world a better place to live is what we all have been struggling for.
Submitted by mailtoritika.chandwani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: