IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways tohelp them. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many societies, imprisonment has traditionally been the main response to criminal behaviour.
However
Linking Words
, some argue that
education
Use synonyms
 and vocational training are more effective in rehabilitating offenders.
While
Linking Words
 I believe that prison plays an important role in maintaining public safety, I
also
Linking Words
 agree that
education
Use synonyms
 and job training are more effective in reducing reoffending in the long term. On the one hand,
education
Use synonyms
 and job training can address the root causes of criminal behaviour. Many offenders come from disadvantaged backgrounds, lacking access to quality
education
Use synonyms
 or stable employment. By providing them with skills and qualifications, they are more likely to find legal employment after their release, which reduces the temptation to return to crime.
For example
Linking Words
, countries like Norway that focus on rehabilitation rather than punishment have significantly lower reoffending rates compared to countries with more punitive systems.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, prison is necessary in certain situations. For serious or violent crimes, imprisonment protects society and serves as a deterrent to others. It
also
Linking Words
 provides a clear consequence for breaking the law, which helps maintain order.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, not all offenders may be ready or willing to change, and in
such
Linking Words
 cases, punishment might be the only immediate option to prevent
further
Linking Words
 harm. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 prison is essential for ensuring public safety and punishing serious offences, it should not be the only approach. Combining imprisonment with educational and vocational programmes can provide a more effective and humane solution to reducing crime in the long run.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
Your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the main points you will discuss, which is excellent for guiding the reader.
examples
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. While you mention Norway, adding a few more specific examples would add depth to your argument.
development
Ensure that each main point is fully developed and explored. For instance, you could elaborate more on the effectiveness of education and job training compared to imprisonment.
structure
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy for readers to follow your argument.
content
You effectively present a balanced view by acknowledging the role of prison, which demonstrates critical thinking and depth in your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: