IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Smoking tobacco is becoming increasingly popular among toung people, with potentially serious effects on their health. Explain some reasons for this problem and suggest some possible solutions.

#tobacco #toung #people #effects #health
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Nowadays, most of the young generations are hooked on different types of addiction.
People
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 have been experiencing
health
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 issues caused by
cigarettes
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. In
this
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 essay, we will be discussing that peer groups and stress at work are the main reason why they smoke. And increasing the sales tax on tobacco and banning public smoking might be helpful to reduce the
use
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 of tobacco.
Firstly
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, Most
people
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 either young or adult populations have issues regarding the
use
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 of
cigarettes
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. Peer pressure and stress are the reasons why
people
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 are using it because they thought by using
this
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 recreational type of drug might help them to relax and feel cool.
For example
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, if they are hanging out with
people
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 who
use
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 tobacco. With every day, the exposure you will end up using
it
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apply
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to feel more belonging to the group. And some
people
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 think that nicotine helps them relax their nerve especially if they are experiencing stress
such
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 as too much workload and a lot of deadlines that
needs
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need
show examples
 to be submitted.
On the other hand
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, the government should be part of the campaign, to reduce
people
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 who smoke. Because they have the willpower to put expensive sales tax
,
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apply
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 Because if the
cigarettes
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 are too expensive not everyone can afford them. And banning public smoking with a huge amount of fines and continuous reminders of the bad effect of smoking on one's
health
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 can be a solution. Because everyone in the community will have a hard time looking for a place where they can allow smoke at the same time,
people
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 will be more
health
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 conscious if they are aware of the bad effect on their
health
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. In summary, we can minimize the
use
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 of
cigarettes
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 if the government will be more strict by implementing the banning and expensive sales tax to have a healthier community.
Submitted by athena26 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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