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Band 5.5

Nowadays television and the Internet have a greater influence on children’s behavior than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#television #internet #influence #children’s #behavior #parents
People have different views about the new generation. And how they focus on modern technology more than talking with their parents.
However
, I agree that there's a noticeable effect on the Kids these days. So we will discuss it in
this
 essay. On the
first
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first-hand
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hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 technology have a bigger influence than the family. There are a lot of reasons one of them is a fictional character and their design because they can match their mind and ideas about life. for another example that it's easy to use and reach them. Most children spend their leisure time watching youtube streamers and cartoons. To illustrate, young children were watching a lot of influencers
such
 as '
cocomelon
Correct your spelling
coco melon
, is how
speed
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to speed
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' and a lot more some of them are good and give them great ideas and some of them are the opposite.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 parents feel guilty that kids don't spend time with them if the family focused more on their child by talking and doing activities it could lower the chance of the young generation playing video games
such
 as mobile laptops and iPad.
Nevertheless
, married people have important things and they can't change their behaviour these days it is hard to raise a child
due to
 the community
To sum
up
Add a comma
,up
show examples
 with we got a hard time
such
 as covid 19 and we can see the effect on them and how they are linked to technology. But parents are the biggest influencers in their life and they can't stop parenting because without family you will lose everything.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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