Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

Nowadays, the young generations utilize a lot of their time on mobiles daily.

This

has disadvantages and a positive reason altogether.

This

essay will explain the reasons behind it.

Firstly

, students are more attracted towards their smartphones. A lot of applications and games are engaging. Their parents do not control them and do not establish some rules or limitations regarding the use of smartphones, so without limitations, they keep using them. The reason for misusing

this

instrument is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

kids are not educated well, and government should invest hours and money in

this

field to educate kids to tell them about its disadvantages, and

also

encourage them to reduce using smartphones.

Secondly

this

matter has some drawbacks which have negative effects on young adults. The most salient hazard is that children do not spend their pace on physical activities.

In other words

, they are reluctant to do some sports or play with their friends outside of the house.

Therefore

this

leads to serious diseases in their body.

In addition

, if they spend all of their time on cell phones, they could not do their homework or even study well.

As a result

, it prevents them to do useful and necessary tasks related to their school tasks. In conclusion, in my view, spending hours every day on cell phones have an irrefutable and negative effect on children.

This

lead to preventing them from doing a useful and essential activity. To deal with that issue, parents and government should make rules and encourage them to do some different activities

instead

of using cell phones.

Submitted by Leena Kapoor on Wed Jan 11 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, citizens must pay a lot of money in taxes, but education and healthcare are free. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages

In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text messaging, face-to-face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?