IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

#idea #career #fashion #careers #money #education #life
Choosing a
career
 and making a living out of it is an important decision in a person’s
life
. There is an increasing trend of creating different ways to generate
income
 to afford a balanced lifestyle.
This
 essay analyses the financial and health benefits of having several streams of
income
. Money can buy all the material items in
life
 that create happiness.
For example
, a person can choose to buy a luxury car, and afford an international annual family vacation and a lavish lifestyle
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 provided he has abundant financial support. Having different ways of earning money will help individuals to attain the required financial freedom to afford a balanced living.
On the other hand
, if a person has a single source of
income
then
 it becomes difficult for a person to manage monthly commitments. Health is an important wealth any individual should accumulate in his
life
 creating a happy
life
. Creating the right balance of intellectual and physical activity can create a healthy body. In the olden days, an individual chose a single
career
 path and struggled to master the talent. Whereas, in current days, people create choices to find a
career
 path that maximises their talent potential. Constant improvement in an individual’s talent creates new avenues to generate
income
.
Thus
, exploring several
career
 options will create healthy individuals. After analyzation of the financial and health benefits of the people who choose to have multiple
career
 choices and several
income
 streams, it is evident that
this
 new trend should continue throughout
life
 to create a challenging yet happy
life
.
Submitted by muhammadbilalkhan932 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: