Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings in modern times. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What, in your opinion, makes a person successful in life?

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In modern society,

success

is frequently equated with

wealth

and the accumulation of material assets.

However

this

perspective is reductive and overlooks the multifaceted nature of human achievement. True

success

should be measured by personal

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

, the impact on others, and the ability to overcome adversity, rather than solely by financial status. The essence of

success

transcends mere financial

wealth

; it encompasses personal satisfaction and the positive influence one has on their community.

For instance

, an individual dedicating their life to teaching or nursing may not amass substantial

wealth

but plays a crucial role in shaping future generations and saving lives, respectively. Their contribution to society's fabric,

although

not quantifiable in monetary terms, is invaluable.

Similarly

, entrepreneurs and innovators who revolutionize industries or solve pressing societal issues contribute significantly beyond their financial gains. These examples underscore that impact and

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

are paramount in defining

success

Moreover

, the journey towards overcoming challenges is a critical indicator of

success

. History is replete with stories of individuals who, despite facing significant obstacles, persevered and achieved their goals, demonstrating unwavering resilience and determination. These qualities are hallmark traits of truly successful individuals.

For instance

, scientists engaged in groundbreaking research may encounter years of setbacks and failures before

finally

reaching significant breakthroughs. Their

success

is not measured by the immediate financial return but by the extraordinary perseverance, tenacity, and unrelenting dedication they exhibit in the relentless pursuit of their ambitious goals, setting a sterling example for future generations. In conclusion,

while

wealth

and material possessions are visible indicators of

success

, they do not fully encapsulate the essence of true achievement.

Success

is better gauged by personal

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

, societal impact, and resilience in the face of adversity. These dimensions not only provide a more comprehensive understanding of

success

but

also

encourage a society that values contributions beyond material

wealth

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Thu Apr 18 2024

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language use

To further enhance the essay, consider incorporating more varied sentence structures and a broader range of vocabulary to diversify your expression.

content development

While your essay is comprehensive, including personal anecdotes or referencing specific historical examples could make your arguments even more persuasive and relatable.

task response

The essay effectively covers multiple dimensions of success beyond financial wealth, providing a well-rounded perspective.

coherence and cohesion

Excellent organization and flow, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that make your argument easy to follow.

task achievement

Your use of examples, though general, effectively supports your main points and enriches your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings in modern times. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What, in your opinion, makes a person successful in life?

Your opinion

Many countries are experiencing serious problems with their environment, with pollution of their land, water and air. What are these problems and how might they be reduced?

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary

Some people think all lawbreakers should be put into prison, while others believe that there are better alternatives. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.”

Films and computers games containing violence are popular. Some people say they have negative effect on society and should be banned. Others say they are just harmless relaxation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.