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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Why do students prefer doing part time jobs during their studies? Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages?

#students #part #time #jobs #studies
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It has been known that a number of
students
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 choose to
work
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 when they study. I believe that
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 sides of
this
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 behaviour
outweight
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outweigh
drawbacks
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the drawbacks
show examples
 because of different reasons.
To begin
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 with, due to the fact that starting the working life constitutes the main purpose of many people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have studied various fields, they ought to prepare
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 real business conditions as soon as possible. To illustrate, a young person who has
educated
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been educated
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
,
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apply
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waits for making
money
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 which accounts for
essential
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the essential
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 aim of adolescents in
quite
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quiet
show examples
 countries. In fact, the
students
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 can
reached
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be reached
reach
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 to
early
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an early
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 opportunity to meet
difficulties
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the difficulties
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 of earning
money
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 to live by working. It
also
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enable
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enables
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to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
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 benefit
to
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apply
show examples
their parents who suffer from poverty, in terms of
money
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 issues.
Therefore
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, working
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
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 when during
study
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the study
show examples
,
has
Add the particle
tohas
show examples
 vary of advantages for young citizens.
On the other hand
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,
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
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 jobs might have some downsides
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many aspects
such
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 as
physical
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the physical
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 difficulties of jobs, ages of employees as well as schedules of schools.
For example
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, if a college student
who
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apply
show examples
has to
work
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 to afford his education or different needs, goes heavy
work
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, he can not keep up with his friends due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
becoming exhausted.
Moreover
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, no one can deny that
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
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 job is suitable for
seconday
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secondary
 education
students
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 not younger ages than it.
Finally
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, if class programs are carried out
similtanously
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simultaneously
job
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with job
show examples
 hours, the student might choose
job
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a job
the job
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 in case of poverty.
Nevertheless
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, all of these thoughts should be concerned by
government
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the government
show examples
 and if we consider regular
curcimstances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
, it can be evaluated that working
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part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
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 for
students
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 has positive
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
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 on their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life
life's
. To conclude, going to
work
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 during the study has various advantages for young people
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many aspects like meeting real business
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 early and helping their families by
makig
Correct your spelling
making
money
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 in appropriate situations.
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