Some people think that the best way to reduce crimes is to apply longer prison sentences, other people think that there are better methods of doing so. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, there is always an argument about how to reduce
crimes
. Some communities think applying longer prison sentences is the best way
. I believe it could be an efficient way
to reduce criminals
but not the best method to stop people
to commit crimes
.
Some people
suggest longer prison sentences is the best to decrease people
to commit crimes
because it could change criminals
’ mind during
a long period of time. Change preposition
over
For example
, prisons usually have a discipline
schedule with a lot of Change the verb form
disciplined
works
on it for prisoners. The density Fix the agreement mistake
work
activities
and long hours of labour can grind Change preposition
of activities
the
minds of them, which could let them become more peaceful than before. Change the word
their
Thus
, when they finished their sentences, they would not want to commit crimes
again as that thought is erased when they were in jails
.
Fix the agreement mistake
jail
However
, some others think there are better methods to reduce the
Correct article usage
apply
crimes
. Giving education to criminals
could be one of the best ways because most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
commit
Correct pronoun usage
who commit
crimes
is
due to Unnecessary verb
apply
the
lack of learning. Correct article usage
a
For instance
, the reason why most criminals
rob, stealing
, or kidnap Wrong verb form
steal
people
is that they need to do it for
Change preposition
to
survive
as they do not have a good Replace the word
survival
condition
to find a job. If Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
government
could make a school system for these Add an article
the government
people
, they could obtain correct knowledge and get an occupation to have a stable income. Thus
, they would not have thoughts of commit
Change the verb form
committing
crimes
again since they have a better quality of life.
In conclusion, I believe letting the authority set prisoners’ sentence be
longer could be a Unnecessary verb
apply
way
to help crimes
be reduced but it would not solve the root of the problem. Letting the criminals
and the communities which may have a chance to commit crimes
to
take long-term education could be the best Fix the infinitive
apply
way
because it would erase the root of this
issue.Submitted by doud99697 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite