Some people think that the best way to reduce crimes is to apply longer prison sentences, other people think that there are better methods of doing so. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, there is always an argument about how to reduce
crimes
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. Some communities think applying longer prison sentences is the best
way
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. I believe it could be an efficient
way
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to reduce
criminals
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but not the best method to stop
people
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to commit
crimes
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. Some
people
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suggest longer prison sentences is the best to decrease
people
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to commit
crimes
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because it could change
criminals
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’ mind
during
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over
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a long period of time.
For example
Linking Words
, prisons usually have a
discipline
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disciplined
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schedule with a lot of
works
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work
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on it for prisoners. The density
activities
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of activities
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and long hours of labour can grind
the
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their
show examples
minds of them, which could let them become more peaceful than before.
Thus
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, when they finished their sentences, they would not want to commit
crimes
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again as that thought is erased when they were in
jails
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jail
show examples
.
However
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, some others think there are better methods to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes
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. Giving education to
criminals
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could be one of the best ways because most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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commit
Correct pronoun usage
who commit
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crimes
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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due to
the
Correct article usage
a
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lack of learning.
For instance
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, the reason why most
criminals
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rob,
stealing
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steal
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, or kidnap
people
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is that they need to do it
for
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to
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survive
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survival
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as they do not have a good
condition
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conditions
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to find a job. If
government
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the government
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could make a school system for these
people
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, they could obtain correct knowledge and get an occupation to have a stable income.
Thus
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, they would not have thoughts of
commit
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committing
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crimes
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again since they have a better quality of life. In conclusion, I believe letting the authority set prisoners’ sentence
be
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apply
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longer could be a
way
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to help
crimes
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be reduced but it would not solve the root of the problem. Letting the
criminals
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and the communities which may have a chance to commit
crimes
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to
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apply
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take long-term education could be the best
way
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because it would erase the root of
this
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issue.
Submitted by doud99697 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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