Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In life education and sports play an important role.

However

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, some parents argue that parents should urge their children to engage in more physical activity rather than studying academic subjects. I completely agree with

this

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notion and the reasons for my opinion will be illustrated in the forthcoming paragraph with relevant illustrations.

To begin

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with, to achieve anything you must remain healthy. To emphasize, physical activity provides more opportunities for individuals to become strong.

As a result

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, it allows students to study more and enhances children's health. Even if a student has an excellent academic performance in daily life, his grade will be affected if he suffers from several health conditions.

Therefore

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, it is essential to maintain physical fitness to perform better in all situations.

In addition

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, playing more games may inspire an interest in their communication skills and improve their social circle, as the majority of games include teamwork. To explain, when youths have the chance to play with other team members, they have a greater chance to interact with a different personality.

For instance

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, a game of hockey requires six players. Teammates must develop positive relationships with one another, which leads to a greater understanding of each individual's activities and interests.

Therefore

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, it is essential to devote more time to physical activities to become involved in the world. In conclusion, I believe that parents should encourage their children to devote more time to outdoor activities than to academics, as the fact that physical activity keeps the human body fit and provides opportunities to interact with others.

keval28598Tue Oct 31 2023

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Language Use

To further enhance your essay, try varying your sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary. While your argument is strong, using diverse linguistic expressions can make your writing even more compelling.

Content

Keep providing clear, well-supported main points as you did. It strengthens your argument significantly. Consider adding more specific, real-world examples or data to bolster your claims even further.

Structure

You've done well to structure your essay and ensure coherence, but you can make your writing flow even smoother by linking ideas more explicitly between paragraphs. Transition phrases can effectively show the relationship between points.

Introduction & Conclusion

Continue to provide a clear introduction and conclusion that frames your essay well. Further elaboration on your concluding thoughts could be beneficial for an even stronger finish to your argument.

Structure

You've maintained a logical and cohesive structure throughout your essay, which greatly aids in the clarity and strength of your argument.

Content

The essay provides a complete response to the task with clear, comprehensive ideas supported by relevant and specific examples.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical activity
Development
Concentration
Obesity
Burnout
Sedentary lifestyle
Healthy lifestyle
Intellectual development
Structured activities
Teamwork
Leadership
Sedentary behavior
Tech addiction
Role models
Family bonds

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Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal life. Does the advantages outweighs the disadvantages.

It is inevitable that as technology develops, cultures must be lost. Technology and traditions are incompatible- you cannot have both together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for spots or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

it is important for people to take risks, both in professional lives and their personal lives. do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Computers are becoming an essential part of education. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using computer technology in education and give your opinion.