Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some

people

believe that sporting activities like diving and skiing should be outlawed because they pose a significant risk to the participants’ personal

safety

. I completely disagree with

this

because extreme

sports

are not as risky as folks might believe with appropriate instructions and

specially-designed

Correct your spelling

specially designed

show examples

protective apparel, and I believe a complete ban on extreme

sports

is against

people

’s right to free will. In my opinion, these

sports

are not as dangerous as many

people

might think. Since there is risk involved in every sport, appropriate precautions have been taken to reduce it.

For instance

, footballers have suffered disabling injuries during matches despite

this

sport being regarded as safe. Extreme

sports

have a certain age group and prerequisites that have been instituted to promote

safety

. Beginners or freshers have to enrol in certain registered clubs

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

undergo suitable training and attain a certain level of competence before practising solo.Special protective clothing has been designed and

safety

measures are being improved daily to promote

safety

However

like any

sports

, accidents do happen but should not result in these

sports

being mislabeled as dangerous.

Furthermore

, banning these

sports

would be very difficult, if not impossible.

Firstly

, these

sports

are practised in remote secluded areas away from where the authorities have immediate access. These areas have been chosen as they have ample space and do not pose a threat to the general public as they are far away from dwellings.

Secondly

people

should be autonomous and be able to choose a sport they like. I believe that prohibiting

people

would be infringing on

this

right. In conclusion, extreme

sports

have been misrepresented as dangerous and

thus

, should not be banned. Several

safety

regulations are being constantly reviewed and

people

have every right to choose any recreational activity they prefer.

Submitted by 215612999 on Wed Jan 11 2023

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task response

Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are addressed in the essay.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical organization of the essay.

lexical resource

Expand the range of vocabulary used throughout the essay.

grammatical range

Demonstrate a wider range of sentence structures and grammar.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

adrenaline rush
risk threshold
thrill-seeking
safety protocols
hazard assessment
adventure tourism
regulatory framework
personal autonomy
informed consent
risk mitigation strategies
thrill-seeking behavior
protective gear
extreme athleticism
freedom of choice
accident prevalence
emergency response
courage and resilience
endorphin release
legal implications
peer pressure effects

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