IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your opinion.

#people #children #home #child #development #school #methods
nowadays there are some methods to teach
children
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 early age. we have
school
Add an article
a school
show examples
 where most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
Add an article
the parents
show examples
 take their
children
 to study but there is
also
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
private learning where the teacher
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 to the
children
's house. both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
methods are pretty effective for
children
 to learn the subject but, it comes with
different
Add an article
the different
show examples
 output when they grow up. in my opinion, by going to
school
,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
are not only learn
Change the verb form
does not only learn
show examples
 about every
subjects
Change to a singular noun
subject
show examples
 that
important
Add a missing verb
is important
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them but they
also
 learn how to socialize with others.
moreover
,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 have to follow all the
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 that occur
such
 as, they need to be in
school
 on time
other wise
Correct your spelling
otherwise
show examples
, they will get punished by the teacher.
as a result
 they will get knowledge from every subject and
also
 they become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more disciplined people.
on the other hand
, by learning at home the teacher can be more focused on
your self
Correct your spelling
yourself
show examples
. they will know you better and it is easier to improve what the
children
 lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
.
hence
, they have a chance to become
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
superior
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 some specific subjects. it will help them when they grow up. to conclude, both learning from
school
 and home are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
good choices. by learning at
school
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 will not only receive
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 educational material but
also
 they will learn how to be
discipline
Correct your spelling
disciplined
show examples
 and
also
 they will have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better social
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. at the same time when you learn at home, people have
a better knowledge
Remove the article
better knowledge
a piece of better knowledge
show examples
 in some specific
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 because of the intensity of learning.
Submitted by fmosespraban on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tailored learning
  • peer pressure
  • flexibility
  • instill values
  • socialization
  • communication skills
  • specialized facilities
  • extracurricular activities
  • diversity
  • structured environment
  • customized education
  • well-rounded education
What to do next:
Look at other essays: